Rejected SAT Analogies, Spring 2012
Yes, this is inspired by the SAT analogies segment from Late Night with Conan O’Brien. Yes, I’m aware that the SATs no longer have analogies. Yes, I remember the episode of Full House where D.J. takes the SATs. Yes, according to Saved by the Bell, Zack Morris got a 1502 on his SATs. No, that…
By Ted Pillow
The following items have been rejected from the Spring 2012 SATs. The proposed answers are shown in bold.
1. Rush Limbaugh is to civil discourse as…
a.) Gak is to Floam.
b.) The wheat is to the chaff.
c.) The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man is to New York City.
d.) A train is to a car.
2. Wireless internet is to wires as…
a.) A walrus is to the sea.
b.) Wayne is to Garth.
c.) A teacher is to a student.
d.) Tyler Perry is to jokes.
3. Facebook profiles are to job searches as…
a.) William Taft is to democracy.
b.) Bananas are to fruit.
c.) Light bulbs are to door knobs.
d.) Tequila shots are to sobriety tests.
4.) Marty McFly is to the 1950s as…
a.) LMFAO is to the 2010s.
b.) Hairpieces are to wigs.
c.) Democrats are to Whigs.
d.) Branches are to trees.
5.) A fuse is to a bomb as…
a.) Hall is to Oates.
b.) Teen Mom is to the Mayan Apocalypse.
c.) Sitting is to benches.
d.) Ryan Seacrest is to Brian Dunkleman.
6.) Staten Island is to New York’s five boroughs as…
a.) The Algonquin Indians are to the Pointer Sisters.
b.) Kings are to castles.
c.) Joey Fatone is to *NSYNC.
d.) Hot dogs are to breakfast.
7.) Staring into the sun is to an eye exam as…
a.) Watching The Big Bang Theory is to an IQ test.
b.) Spain is to Europe.
c.) The Monroe Doctrine is to measles.
d.) A wrench is to a hammer.
8.) Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” is to David Bowie and Queen’s “Under Pressure” as…
a.) Avatar is to Fern Gully.
b.) Barack Obama is to Yosemite Sam.
c.) Angels are to demons.
d.) Binyah Binyah Polliwog is to Gullah Gullah Island.
9.) Blues music is to the inescapable melancholy of life as…
a.) Cubism is to realism.
b.) Country music is to urban life.
c.) Skrillex is to car alarms.
d.) Noir is to comedy.
10.) A tadpole is to a frog as…
a.) Justin Bieber is to Ellen DeGeneres.
b.) Milwaukee’s Best in a can is to the River Styx in your stomach.
c.) Hulk Hogan is to a movie theater hot dog.
d.) Kid Rock is to Joe Camel. 
