Tatiana Pérez

“I didn’t sleep around enough while I was still single…”

That nosy motherf*cker who obsessively peeks at your treadmill speed. Hope you feel like a baller running at exactly .1mph faster than me, bro!

Tell them you’ve moved to Yemen. Don’t move to Yemen.

Cool it with the insulting “jokes.”

Follow these ridiculously easy steps, and you’ll be climaxing to hell and back in no time.

Getting so irrationally emotional that losing your hairbrush might could legit make you weep.

You can stop pretending that giving head is like, your FAVORITE thing to do in the whole wide world!

I know some cool 20-somethings, but one of the most badass human beings I know is only 16. If you don’t already know Queen Bey’s protégé, Sophie Beem, you’ll be glad I introduced you before she blows up.

Real men get real about how women can improve their blowjob game.

“That weird chunk of armpit fat that will never go away.”

“When he cheated on me with 13 different people within the course of a month.”

They know what you look like without makeup—blemishes, stray chin hairs, and all. You’re long past constantly beautifying yourself for them, and they love that.

Those worries keeping you up at night—the ones where you picture yourself jobless and loveless at 25—they’re normal. 

Real women get real about how guys can up their game “down there.”

When she wisely reminded you that “life is to short to pretend u don’t like getting choked during sex.”

Bad sex.

That we need a “practical” day job or a “Plan B.”

He loved you, boo. He did, he does, and he probably will for a while.