Dorm Rooms Aren’t Built For Bangin’: 10 College Students Confess Their Most Awkward Dorm-Sex Encounters
1. Dazed, Naked, And Confused
“One time after I’d hooked up with some rando, I got up to go to the bathroom (naked, obviously). When I got out, I couldn’t remember which room was his—I go to a huge school with huge dorms, so the possibilities were endless. I ended up wandering the hallway, stark nude, for hours.”
— Leslie, 21
2. The Inadvertent Break-In
“In freshman year, I went home with this guy who lived in a dorm that was modeled exactly like my friend Alexa’s dorm. After the dude fell asleep, I tried to slip out—but I couldn’t find my clothes. Drunk as shit, I figured I’d wander over to my friend Alexa’s room to find some sweats. So I’m in what I think is Alexa’s room, right, and all of the sudden these two random girls start screaming at me, ‘WHAT THE FUCK GET OUT!’ and I was still so hammered and disorientated that I just kept screaming back, ‘WHERE’S ALEXA! WHERE’S ALEXA!’ I proceeded to lock myself in the bathroom to hide, since the girls had, indeed, called the police.”
— Meadow, 19
3. Mr. Steal Your Girl
“Last semester, I took home this girl I’d hooked up with a few times. I guess I didn’t realize how drunk I was, but soon after we stared hooking up, I had to excuse myself to boot in the bathroom. I was gone for 15 minutes or so—in that time, an ex-buddy of mine managed to slip into my room and…get to know my hook up. I walked in on him under my covers, going down on her.”
— Quentin, 20
4. …Someone’s Having Sex On My Couch
“My freshman year roommate and I never locked our door. One night, after a disappointing few hours of failing to get laid, my roommate and I stumbled into our room, only to find two straight up strangers fucking on our couch. When we were all, ‘what the fuck?’ and the dude looked up at us and goes, ‘my bad, I got sexiled and your door was open.’ We just stared at him like… ‘SICK story bro, can you get the fuck out now?’ I swear we were there negotiating with both of them for a solid three minutes before convincing them to leave our room.”
— Raul, 23
5. Say My Name, Say My Name
“In sophomore year, a friend of mine started hooking up with my ex. I’d said I was cool with it because I didn’t want to look like a jealous asshole, but in reality, it really wasn’t chill—especially since the friend’s room was right next to mine, so I’d see them going home together. So anyway, one Saturday night, I’m back in my bed jacking off (2 a.m., depressing af), and I hear them going at it (self-pleasure buzz kill for sure). I was about to put headphones in since our walls were paper-thin (classic) and I could hear way too much, but before I could, I heard my ex moan ‘Owen!’ followed by a sharp stop of the bed-breaking. It was a fucked up situation, but I couldn’t help but brush some dirt off my shoulder.”
— Owen, 21
6. Caught With Nothing But My Dick In My Hands
“Uh last year, in a blackout state, I left my girlfriend’s room to go to the bathroom naked (we’ve all been there, right?). I took a wrong turn, though, and ended up…outside, without an ID card to swipe back in. Bear in mind, we go to school up in Maine, and this was early March—fucking freezing outside, snow definitely still on the ground. So I had to use the emergency blue light phone so campus safety could come help me out, and I EXPLICITLY said to make sure to send a man. A woman showed up and I was just naked and drunk with my dick in my hands yelling, ‘I SAID TO SEND A MAN! I SAID TO SEND A MAN!’ Sweet lady though.”
— Nick, 22
7. The Orgy That Never Was
“One time I was having sex with this girl when her roommate walked in with her hook up. I stopped, thinking that she’d want to as well, but she seemed totally undisturbed, and just looked at me like, ‘nah, it’s all good.’ So we kept having sex while the roommate and other guy got busy. Their beds were feet away from each other, and all of the sudden, I see this other dude reach his hand out to high-five me or something as he nails the roommate. Both girls were hot and theoretically, I should’ve been into it, but the whole thing was way too weird for me. I went soft and pretty seamlessly gathered my shit and made my exit.”
— Liam, 23
8. …The Orgy That Was (By Accident)
“During our freshman year, my best friend and I dated these guys who happened to be roommates. After one particularly drunk night, we woke up in the morning to an empty room (they both also played football and had left for practice). My friend and I didn’t remember seeing each other the night before, so we were looking at each other so confused, like, ‘wait…did you sleep here last night?’ We came to realize that we’d both been having sex, in the same room, and had no idea.”
— Sophie, 20
9. Too Wet For Words
“Our dorm heating systems are particularly whack — it’s either freezing or boiling hot, no in between. Last weekend, I was having morning-after sex with this dude I’d met the night before. His bed is right against the heater (which is on this early in the season, yes, because it’s already brick in upstate New York), so while he was on top workin’ hard, I was profusely sweating below him while exerting basically no physical energy. Like there was literally sweat rushing down my forehead and I had to really awkwardly wipe my face and be like ‘haha umm…yeaaaaaaaah haha…’ Meanwhile he’s actually putting in WORK and not even breaking a sweat.”
— Carly, 21
10. Slip ‘N’ Slide
“I was once hooking up with this really hot but like, reeeeeally hairy dude in my freshman year. Those twin XLs kind of force spooning on you if you’re sharing the bed, and I would regularly break out into a full sweat every time he slept over. One time, I got so agitated in my sleep, that I dreamed I was getting consumed by this huge, sweaty wave, and I started thrashing so violently that I kicked him off of the bed. Poor thing.”
— Austin, 22 
