25 Cow Puns That Are Sure To Amoose You

What do you call a cow on crystal meth? Beef jerky.

Updated 10 months ago, January 12, 2024

These cow puns will be moo-sic to your ears.

Cow puns aren’t just for farmers. They’re for everyone! At least, everyone with an udderly awesome sense of humor. Reader through these cow puns and then milk them for all they’re worth by sharing them with family and friends. You won’t regret it!

1. Why did the farmer stop telling cow puns?

Because he butchered every joke.

2. What did the cow confess to his therapist?

“I feel seen but not herd.”

3. Why was the cow so afraid of messing up?

Because the steaks were high.

4. Why did the cow start a fight with his buddy?

There was real beef between them!

5. What did the cow say to her misbehaving calf?

I am not amoosed by you.

6. What did the farmer say when his cow wouldn’t produce milk?

This is udderly problematic!

7. Why don’t most cows lie?

They can smell bull.

8. Why are cows always broke?

Someone’s always milking them dry.

9. Why was the farmer mad at his cow?

The excuse she gave was a bunch of bull.

10. What happens when a calf gives her mom attitude?

She tans its hide.

11. How does a cow avoid acting rashly?

She takes stock of the situation first.

12. Why did the farmer always show up on time for dinner?

If he didn’t, his wife would have a cow.

13. How did the bull earn the farmer’s trust?

He said, “Seriously, have I ever steered you wrong?”

14. Why is it so hard to hurt a cow’s feelings?

They’re skin’s as thick as leather.

15. What does the cow do when she’s got leverage?

Milks it for all it’s worth.

16. Why couldn’t the cow gain weight?

She was more of a grazer.

17. What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

18. What do you call the feeling that you’ve heard this bull before?

Deja-moo

19. What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?

It’s pasture bedtime.

20. Why couldn’t the cow learn?

Everything went in one ear and out the udder.

21. What do you call a cow on crystal meth?

Beef jerky.

22. What’s a cow’s best subject in school?

Cow-culus.

23. Where do cows eat lunch?

In the calfeteria.

24. What did the farmer name his funniest cow?

The Laughing Stock.

25. Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

To make beautiful moo-sic.

More Humorous, Punny Jokes

Below are more clever puns to share with loved ones and make them smile.