Did Someone Say Public Ejaculation?

Though I’m sure none of you needed yet another reason to dread a crowded commuter’s ride on the subway, you officially have one more extremely disturbing con to add to your list of public transportation woes! And I’m mostly looking at you, young women of NYC.

You know that guy who was locked up for running around on different crowded subway cars, getting inappropriately frisky and masturbating on different chicks in a hit-and-run sort of fashion? Well, sorry for being the bearer of bad news, but he’s on the loose once again, so please consider this your heads up.

Unfamiliar with this man’s notorious train ride bumping and grinding? Well here’s the reader’s digest version of his upsetting story: About a year ago this guy went on a rampage pleasing himself onto young girls in crowded subway cars, until he was caught (HOORAY!) through DNA collections/tests. Then he was promptly locked up for a year, only to be freed on three years’ probation because, according to the Court of Appeal, his public ejaculation was considered a misdemeanor, NOT a felony. And so far, the court isn’t reconsidering their decision to set him free. And SCENE.

So long story short, this guy puts the CREEP in creeper. Unfortunately I can’t find a photo of this guy, which I guess is even more reason to watch you back, LITERALLY! Maybe it’s time to invest in some keychain pepper spray or one of those low budget last-resort ponchos from Duane Reade until further notice. At least it’s cheaper than a trip to the dry cleaners? But seriously, stay safe out there.

Oh, and make sure you hit up the Gothamist for the full story and appeal decision. ‪