Why It’s Okay To Stay Vulnerable After You’ve Been Hurt

I have been hurt, lied to, cheated on, and betrayed.

I have been abandoned and replaced. I have opened my heart and soul to others only to be stabbed with the things they knew would hurt me. I’ve been knifed a thousand times. I have been made to feel worthless. And all of these things have been done to me by the people I loved.

But it’s okay. I was vulnerable – and I still am.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I didn’t say you should encourage other people to do these things to you. I didn’t mean they made me feel good nor did I turn a blind eye to all these things. You might think I was stupid to experience all these, but no. I wasn’t being stupid. I was being vulnerable.

Being vulnerable means opening yourself up to people and giving them the chance to see the real you. It’s like putting your heart and soul into their hands and mapping out for them where exactly they can strike to hurt you the most – and at the same time, trusting them that they won’t. Thing is, they will – and it’s hypocritical of anyone of us to think they won’t.

But darling, it’s okay. Being vulnerable is okay. While it shattered me many times, it’s the best thing I’ve ever let myself be..

..because it left me with no regrets.

I put myself out in the open and showed the people I loved how much I loved and cared for them. While I was wronged in the end, and all my efforts and feelings were thrown away, still, nothing beats the feeling of knowing you did everything you could. Of not having “what ifs”. Of not wondering “what could’ve been”. All for the people and things that make you happy. I’ll let you in on a little secret: the more you hold back, the harder it would be to move on, the more regrets you’ll have.

..because I got to know who are for keeps.

If there’s one thing I realized after all the heartbreaks and broken relationships, it’s this: you can never be ‘perfect’ enough to make the wrong person stay. There will always be something that’s not right – the situation, the timing, or just anything that will be good enough reason for the other person to leave. While I lost a lot of people in my life, I gained rare and real ones. I found out who really cares and I couldn’t be any happier to have known and kept them. Imagine, if you were happy being with the wrong people in your life, how much more could you be with the right ones.

..because I learned and grew.

I still do. All the times I pulled myself back up, I only came out stronger and more understanding. I became more and more capable of loving. Had I not exposed myself to the risk of getting broken, I wouldn’t have experienced love. I wouldn’t have had happy memories to look back to every now and then. I wouldn’t have been as excited as I am in meeting the right people. I wouldn’t have known who really cares. And most of all, I wouldn’t have learned and grown into the person that I am now.

..because it’s okay.

It’s okay to let yourself free, to let your walls down. It’s okay to love the wrong person. To make mistakes, get hurt, and be broken. It’s okay to let yourself feel everything. To exhaust yourself fighting for the things you think are worth it. To burn yourself out chasing everything that makes you feel glad you are alive. Darling, it’s okay. It’s what makes us human. It’s not going to be easy, but I can assure you that you’ll look back to the days you let yourself be vulnerable and see it as a blessing in disguise.

Now, open yourself up. Let people in. Invade other people’s heart. Love. Be vulnerable. Darling, it’s okay.