Stephanie Karina

Two weeks ago, the U.S. Department of Education released a list of universities and colleges that it is currently investigating for Title IX violations. With notable names ranging from Harvard University to Sarah Lawrence College, the list includes 55 elite institutions, including the one that I currently attend.

The term “Senior Washed Up Girl” started at Yale University last year. Since then, it has come to signify the young women everywhere who — during their senior years — are not quite ready for the Real World but are so over college.

5. Download 2048 on your phone at the behest of your friend who is a borderline 2048 addict. Play 22 games in succession.

4. If you happen to look up and catch him staring at you during class, he will either immediately look away or smile at you — his move of choice depends on how shy he is.

Though there is a convenience store two blocks away from your college library, purposefully kill some extra time by heading in the opposite direction — toward the one that is twice as far away. You deserve a break, anyways.

“Has anyone ever told you that you kind of look like Mr. Squidward from SpongeBob Squarepants? Only when you squint and make that face — the one I really hate.”

Everyone else had already gone to bed, but we stayed up, sitting on the stoop in front of your apartment. It had started to drizzle, lightly.

11. They are allowed to do whatever they please on their birthday, and you are a Debra (which is worse than a simple Debbie Downer) if you say otherwise.

2. Your body will no longer be able to handle the vicious rise, rage, repeat cycle you put it through during the first couple of years in college.

Panama City Beach comes to life as much as it can during the month of April, when the crisp sea air starts to warm with the promise of summer right around the corner.

1. The two of you have broken up, gotten back together, broken up, and gotten back together so many times that you have lost count.

We will never be fully happy with ourselves if we go through the motions of life as if it were a competition. If we think about it in those terms, we will quickly learn that we aren’t ever going to be able to win.