12 Reasons Rory Gilmore Should’ve Ended Up With Jess Mariano

1. Logan has no edge to him. He’s a puppy of a human being — one of those well-pampered Chinese Shih Tzu creatures that has known no hardship in its life and that is bred to sit on a silk pillow all day while its owner feeds it cuts of grade-A meat. Jess, on the other hand, is a fully actualized, fully grown Black Lab. Sleek. Mysterious. Noble.

2. Jess’ Uncle Luke adores Rory and recognizes how lucky his nephew is to be with her. Logan’s family, on the other hand, treats Rory like a second-class citizen. His parents, the honorable Huntzbergers, may be of well-manicured pedigrees (well, at least, his father), but they are miserable human beings — which would make holidays, like Thanksgiving or Easter, a terror.

3. Homegirl needs someone who can keep her on her toes and keep up with her. While Logan is, yes, intelligent, he is nowhere near as intellectually stimulating as Jess. And his banter is far less witty. Eventually, Rory would get bored of him, and, if she were to end up with him, her life would quickly resemble a tragic scene from something like Valley of the Dolls.

4. Jess is not afraid to criticize Rory — but in a constructive, meaningful way. Because Logan still very much possesses the selfish mentality of a privileged, child-man (with the emotional capacity of a 13-year-old), he doesn’t necessarily know how to handle Rory’s neuroses. However, let’s not forget that it was Jess who pushed Rory to go back to Yale after she took some time off from school  — he isn’t afraid to call her out when necessary.

5. Logan is so preppy that it makes my eyes hurt just to look at him. Okay. Maybe that’s an overstatement, and maybe it’s not a great idea to base attraction solely on physical criteria, but he does look like an overgrown Justin Bieber…a slightly handsome overgrown Justin Bieber, but an overgrown Justin Bieber nonetheless. Instead, LOOK at Jess. He is unequivocally smoking. If he and Rory were to ever procreate, they would produce brown-haired, fair-skinned, and beautiful-eyed little children — who would be brilliant, to boot.

6. Um, Jess owns an independent bookstore. Can we pause for a quick second and consider how exceptionally sexy this is? Because it totally is. Jess is going to mature into a real silver fox — like Stephen Hawking but with better bone structure. Maybe he didn’t have his life together back in the day, but he certainly has it together by the end of the series. Logan, on the other hand, may or may not be a Schwald for life.

7. Logan’s unjustified ego causes him to behave arrogantly and rudely to people he believes are below him — including a couple of Rory’s dear friends. Jess may act like an emotionally unavailable delinquent at times, but he’s the best kind — it’s clear that under his leather-tough demeanor, he is a giant sweetheart.

8. If Logan and Jess ever mud-wrestled for Rory’s affection, there is no doubt in my mind that Jess would win. No doubt at all. Logan would probably try to cheat by biting Jess’s hand or kicking him where it hurts, inappropriately.

9. Essentially throughout their entire relationship, Logan takes Rory for granted — the result of a sense of entitlement from his privileged upbringing and low-key (okay, actually, pretty high-key) narcissism. Sometimes, Jess doesn’t treat Rory as well as he should, but he understands that Rory is too good for him — which is why he ran away until he could become less of a lil’ poophead for her. Sadly, when he and Rory reunite, she has already moved on…with a much worse poophead.

10. Right before the series finale, Logan asks Rory to marry him — aggressive move, considering their tender ages. However, Rory declines his proposal and they break up as he moves to California. He takes her refusal so personally. “Wow, you don’t want to be my wife? You suck. I’m not going to even consider the possibility that you may someday be ready to marry me. Instead, I’m going to decide for myself that you aren’t worth my time anymore! Bye forever!!!!” he practically screams in her face before taking off.

11. Also, Pretty Boy Huntzberger, have you ever considered that Rory isn’t ready to marry you because you cheated on her with five of your sister’s bridesmaids???

12. Speaking of the marriage proposal, personally, I think Rory refused because her heart still belongs to Jess. He’s, like, the one who got away, and one day, the stars will align again (besides, Jess is way too brooding and handsome to not love forever — he’s like Heathcliff minus some of the emotional issues…some).