Stephanie Harris

I couldn’t even manage to put on a pair of dollar store cat ears.

5. Everyone at the bar begins to look 12. Not 25. Not 21.  12.

Next time you are about to give your childless friends a speech on the joys of motherhood, remember the same way you don’t care for cats, some people don’t care for children.

I found it hard to imagine it would be difficult for him to meet a woman, until he described to me what he is looking for exactly.

Every script from every porno you have ever watched helped play a role in your award winning verbal performance.

I had an ex boyfriend who asked if I would pee on him and/or he could pee on me. I was horrified, and he will forever be referred to “Coldplay,” (since it was all Yellow…)

When, “Probably delicious” crossed my mind, I knew I needed help.

Some girls just can’t seem to get enough of themselves and post selfies constantly…you know who you are.

I accidentally made a porno once.