Stephanie Georgopulos

Does your mother actually hate me, or is that just a thing you say when we’re arguing because you know it’ll make me upset?

I just wanted to reach out to you all and apologize in advance for not lifting a finger at work this morning or afternoon.

It’s not like I have experience; I’m not qualified or certified and there’s certainly no user’s manual for the thing so I’m just going to have to take my best guess, just going to steal my cues from films and novels and people I used to know.

I got emotional compiling this week’s playlist (I know, right? Me, emotional? What are the odds?)

Let’s freak out real quick because our own generation is willing to point in at itself and call an underemployed 21-year-old with $100,000 of student loan debt and no idea how they’ll afford retirement ‘privileged’ because they’re a male or they’re white or they’re American or they have internet access.

Sometimes, there’s someone observing you, taking notes, discussing your delusions with their friends over coffee as they pore over notes like, “He is never going to commit to her” and “Seems to be attracted to flakes.”

I could always tell what kind of mood Nancy was in based on her tail and her pupils — tall and thin pupils meant she was peaceful, fat pupils meant she was distressed, thin tail and thin eyes meant she was plotting, bushy tail and big eyes meant she was out for blood. And with the other cats around, she usually was.

Meanwhile, your friends are doing insane things like wearing jewelry worth five months’ rent and owning freaking property.

Specifically, it contains a ton of 80s new wave and that 90s dance music we interchangeably refer to as trance, techno, club, and house because it seems impossible to discern what the difference between them is.

They were the person who actually brought you soup when you were sick, like that wasn’t just a thing you saw on a television show once but a thing that a real live person who cared about you actually did.

Select a person you know very well or someone you don’t know at all.

Of course, there are multiple covers of the same song. There’s like six “Hallelujahs” up in there (okay — there are three, and the one by Brandi Carlisle is really worth a listen).