Stephanie Georgopulos

“Guys don’t cause drama,” they say. “Girls are catty/ jealous of me/ the devil,” they say. To those girls, I have a response: the problem is you, not every other woman in the universe.

Cancel dates at the last minute because your boss needs you. Google, “Stockholm Syndome.”

Even though I believe you when you tell me we’ve already met several times, is it OK to tell you outright that I don’t remember you?

Roman Coppola and his production company, The Directors Bureau, matched the winning screenplays with up-and-coming directors and actors, while W Hotels provided some of their most exotic locations for shooting.

Here’s a secret. Ever since that bond of trust was broken? I gotta tell you that I’ve hated your guts. I’ve hated you to the point that my number one fantasy was kidnapping you and shipping you to a remote island with no WiFi.

Either way, women have the right to rock facial hair every month of the year, like that even needs to be said. I repeat: we can do what we want with our bodies. Our bodies.

As a child I flew often, but my courage faded like swollen cheeks and knobby knees and other marks of youth that I never counted on losing, and after that there was nothing I could do.

Everyone has their walking songs, I think. They’re the songs that put a groove in your step, the songs that make you feel like you’re in a motion picture feature starring you and your car-less, boring life.

“Here’s an abrasive reggaeton song in lieu of an actual message because I am trapped in 2002. Send help! JK, don’t.”

The tip of this umbrella is sharp and could probably draw blood if applied correctly and the rest of the umbrella isn’t so bad itself; when it’s all closed and buttoned-up it’s just like a real weapon.

It’s unfortunate that Josie Grossie suffered an existential meltdown for what could’ve been a pretty rad assignment.

Bartender shall use the Confidential Information only to evaluate if Discloser is deserving of buy backs (“Sad and Pitiful”) or will likely need to be forcibly removed from the premises later in the evening (“I Saw This Coming When She Started Talking About Her Ovarian Cysts.”)