Stephanie Georgopulos

It’s 420! Time to take mile-long walks into the woods, lock yourself up in the basement, climb into your treehouse, or go wherever the hell it is you have to hide out to smoke weed these days.

This person can explain electricity, the Pythagorean theorem, and why leap year exists, but the one question to which they have no answer is why they’re single. And they want to know why, goddammit.

Little by little, the layers of arid air peel back to reveal a wetness, a moisture associated with the womb and survival and life. The lush greens of lawns and the pure whites of orchids and the fatness of trees with their expanse of foliage: these things are alive again, what’s your excuse?

A little history: Harold Wilson was the leader of the Labour Party, serving as Prime Minister of the UK twice during the ’60s and ’70s. It was this era that inspired both “Sunny Afternoon” and “Taxman.”

The split hadn’t been a stroll in the park by any account, but the Stock Photography Model is moving on, dealing, you know? Sure, Michael kept the apartment, and yeah, he did ask her to return the ring so that he could finance a last-minute ‘rejuvenating’ trip to Perth, but the Stock Photography Model is a strong woman, and she’s going to handle hers.

One thought I return to is how they’ll remember that night five, ten, twenty years from now, but I guess that depends on if they outgrow hustling strangers — something I think they’re all capable of. I believe that because I relate to them; it’s one of the reasons I stopped to help them that night.

You might actually have nothing to wear: half of your clothes belong to another season and the other half is fit for like, a job interview at Hooter’s or eloping with an Egyptian prince or you, twenty pounds ago.

Of course, cats have just one life. This became apparent when Baldwin III, former Count of Ypres, made a game of flinging cats to their death from the top of a tower, and again when cats were persecuted alongside alleged witches during the Dark Ages, and yet again when the American Veterinary Medical Association published a study stating that a cat’s terminal velocity is 53 MPH.

His eleventh studio album, Write Me Back, is due next month (and I mean that’s fantastic because this homage was happening either way; at least now it can happen under the guise of relevance). Now’s a good a time as any to brush up on the eclectic, puzzling, oft-straight-up-questionable catalog of Kelz.

Now, I know one could argue that loving a dead celebrity isn’t like, legitimate. Sharing breath and touching hair and speaking in shapes and colors and all the things we do when we’re so in love! are notably absent in a one-sided, otherworldly relationship.

If you’re interning or building up your portfolio or telling your friends you’re freelancing because it sounds better than “I’m getting screwed because I haven’t figured out how to ask for money yet,” fine — but don’t give your “client” the impression that freelancers do not require payment.

But Mrs. Brick’s grievances extend beyond being asked if it hurt when she fell from heaven on the regular. What’s really grinding her gears is that all the womenfolk in her life are Grade A Certified Haters — how else might we explain the fact that she’s never been asked to be a bridesmaid in any one of her friends’ weddings?