Honest Facebook Photo Captions
"Of course I didn't notice that you resemble the Elephant Man in my profile picture; I was distracted by how thin I look."
“Just a friendly reminder that I’m in a relationship and you’re not.”
“Extensive Photoshop tutorials are responsible for how deep and blue my eyes appear, but if you ask I’ll mumble something about it being ‘golden hour.'”
“As a matter of strategy, it’s impossible to identify me in this group photo.”
“I wouldn’t dare contort my face into the hideous mess you see here if I were even 2% less attractive than I am — but fortunately, I’m hot enough to ‘ugly it up.’ You know, in the name of modesty.”
“Of course I didn’t notice that you resemble the Elephant Man in my profile picture; I was distracted by how thin I look.”
“It took several attempts before I aced this photo of me jumping on a trampoline, a gimmick I employed to affect an air of whimsy and spontaneity.”
“My face is kind of ‘meh’ here, but I like to think the outstanding cleavage makes up for it.”
“It’s safe to say that if sucking it in were a sport, I’d be an Olympian.”
“I spent over an hour in my bedroom taking this photo from various angles before uploading this one and I’m still questioning whether I made the right choice.”
“I have recently had my heart broken and am posing in a sad, vulnerable fashion — please say something complimentary that will both validate me and make my ex jealous.”
“I look nothing like this in real life.”
“I nagged the person who took this photo until they uploaded it to Facebook and tagged me in it, even though we were in the middle of the desert and they only had two bars of service.”
“My Blackberry is incapable of taking a clear photo, but in this case I think it worked in my favor.”
“Here I am doing something that required me to speak into a microphone, jjeeaalloouuss?”
“Ask me about what it’s like to have more money than you.”
“I know what you’re thinking, and yes — this photo is older than you are.”
“I look like I’m screaming here, but really I just quietly posed with my mouth wide open in mock-shock fashion because, edgy.”
“You’d be correct to assume that my profile picture is from my childhood because that’s the last time I was cute.”
“You may take my Myspace, but you will never take my Myspace angles.” 
