Haikus For The Modern Internet Persona

1

What did I just watch?
What a complete waste of time.
Might as well comment.

2

I like your tweet but
I hate you and the battle
wages quietly.

3

Even a ninety-
eight percent match stood me up
is nothing sacred?

4

Officially freaked
been minutes since I emailed
and still no response.

5

You look nothing like
your profile pictures do.
Tell me how you sleep?

6

Accidentally
liked your Tumblr post; must quit
the hate following

7

You know what they say,
an internet comment is
rage leaving the soul

8

According to Klout
I’m influential in ‘Cats’
just like everyone

9

Unfollowing your
ex is the first step on the
road to happiness

10

This photo of him
is flattering sure, but I’m
convinced it’s a ‘shop

11

I can’t follow her.
Her feed’s a mess, I can’t watch.
Wait, she did what now?