The Real Reason Behind Slut Shaming That No One Seems To Recognize

“She’s such a slut.”

“What a whore!”

“Oh, he’s cute, but such a man-whore.”

Familiar language? These terms are thrown around so casually that the enduring residual effects of their usage are practically forgotten. Any time I recall hearing those words applied to a person, I remember marking that individual in my mind with that label, sometimes for years. Nobody seems to consider that the person in question is branded with such a distinguishing label for the long-term as the statement is uttered.

A relatively recent Internet trend that is quickly gaining ground in society is this idea that feminism and modern women have, through their sexual revolution and shameless, unapologetic escapades, destroyed the ‘gentleman.’

Why would any man wish to treat a woman respectfully when she has not earned it? She thrives on attention, seeking compliments, affections, and exceptional treatment from a man, but tries this scheme with every man she meets — not to mention that she has slept around with countless partners. No rational man would want her beyond her short-term value in the bedroom.

But the men! What about them? Foregoing the fact that most men go through phases of conquering women in high numbers out of maintenance of social masculinity, bragging rights, raging hormones, or even sheer personal competition, one must wonder why men deserve proper behavior from women. This has happened for ages!

Upon viewing these two positions, I cannot help but observe a common factor. I will not even delve into the idea that sexuality is viewed either privately or socially, since this is not the subject at hand, though it deserves attention.

I aim to illustrate that women who behave so freely, so indiscriminately, and men who conquer multiple women without any inclination for them beyond sexual triumph share one unattractive quality — and it has nothing to do with morality, but rather, intellect and biology.

It is a lack of discrimination — of taste. It is the whimsy of meeting a person and engaging in activities society deems personal and private without any consideration on the matter. This translates to the biological level of mating and the evaluation of sexual prospects.

The reason this is such a cognitively unattractive characteristic is because it is often not a stand-alone quality; it usually reveals the potential for a person to accidentally or willfully overlook, or neglect to deliberate on, a myriad of other areas in life. It also causes a discriminate person in a romantic relationship — or any type of relationship for that matter — the possibility to feel ordinary, since an indiscriminate person could likely find happiness or contentment with a variety of other people.

It is threatening on either side, but also unappealing to many. People generally seem to either over or undervalue their personal worth, and when a partner demonstrates a lack of selectivity, it undermines or corroborates one’s own assessment of self.

Where do we go from here? Well, we can begin by closely considering our reasons for action. If we desire a long-term partner and simultaneously wish to feel truly exceptional and singular as individuals in the eyes of a partner, we can simply speak to one another about the motivation behind each and all of our decisions, including our less discriminate ones.

No person should have to apologize for his or her past if that person wishes to begin a new stage in his or her life. However, the ability to recognize and relate intention and aim — past and present — is crucial to achieving a more thoughtful existence.