Sophie Martin

Only judge a woman’s personal and sexual history if you hold yourself — and every other human — to those same standards, and know that they are only your own, and not objective.

The best part of your day is food and the internet.

How much the two of you are respectively still going out and drinking, and how much your social life looks like it did when you were in college, are going to make a big impact on your relationship.

She was under the impression that the two of you were just friends going out for a platonic hangout, and having you try to end the night with sex is just about the most awkward thing she could imagine.

4. When they don’t call you back, it tortures you.

Being in love is a full-time job, and a lot of other parts of your life are going to have to take a big hit in terms of time commitment in order to accomodate it.

The comfort with your appearance to be naked, makeup-free, and completely casual without feeling like you want to peel your skin off every time your significant other sees you in your natural state.

Trying to find an angle during sex that makes you look the least chunky/flat-chested/wobbly. You are who you are, and they are having sex with you because of it, not in spite of it. Own it.

People think about their exes in bed sometimes, including with you. Including about that ex you are really threatened by and worry that they might still have feelings for.

You need someone who is required contractually to compliment you in your bathing suit, no matter how red and sweaty and gross-looking you are, so that you feel extra-good about being at the beach/pool.

We often leave relationships wondering if we were ever really loved at all, and it’s a terrible feeling. You can stop that kind of pain in your own relationships if you want to.

If you have an alarm sound that is one of your favorite songs, change it immediately. There is no reason to ruin that song for yourself for the rest of your life (and you will).

None of them like to talk about the same subjects you do anymore, and every time you try to bring up art or politics, they look at you like you’re the most pretentious human they’ve ever seen.

“Why didn’t you major in something serious? Didn’t you want a real job?”

Your friends will never understand.

“My aunt never got married, and she is perfectly happy!”

All of your friends know to go to you for advice for sex, masturbation, porn, relationships, and generally delicate stuff that they wouldn’t be comfortable asking anyone else.

Realize how much you were happy to exaggerate or ignore because you wanted to keep the image you have of them in your head completely perfect.