A Love Letter To All The Girls Who Thought They’d Be Married By Now

I know we’re approaching that time of year when news of engagements and all those “I said yes” photos may start flooding your social media feeds. And I want to help you get through this. Because I know it’s not going to be easy for some of you who have desired and longed for great partners and husbands for a very long time. Especially if you’re one of the ones who thought you’d be married by now. I get it.

If you are an unmarried woman reading this right now, I want you to know that there are many other women in the same position as you are: significant, smart, successful, beautiful inside and out, and extraordinary. Even with all this in mind, I imagine you’ve probably wrestled with some questions, maybe some fears and insecurities, and wondered, “Why is it always someone else?” “When will it be my turn?” And “I did everything I was supposed to.”

Truthfully, you probably should be married and absolutely deserve to be married too. You have all the great qualities and traits to be a great partner, friend, bride, and wife. And guess what? Maybe it’s not your time yet. And as much as I’d like for you to get what you want and assure you that your time will come soon, there may be a possibility that it won’t. And that’s okay too. Maybe love will still find you but won’t be about being someone’s spouse or settling down – which could be exciting to explore. But if the desire to marry still rests in your heart and you can’t shake it, you have to trust God’s timing, even when it’s hard.

You’re going to have to make sure your heart is in the right place when you receive those engagement announcements from some of your friends and family members because you’ll need to celebrate and be happy for them when they receive good news. Especially if it was news you thought you’d be sharing by now.

You’re going to have to watch your best friend flash that shiny ring on her finger and genuinely be happy for her even though you might feel like falling apart inside.

You’re going to have to get cute, smile for photos, and sit through bridal showers and bachelorette parties that may be hard to go to, and be present and participate because your loved ones taking this step in their lives will need your love and support.

And finally, you’re going to have to attend some weddings you may have a hard time sitting through. My advice is to pick up some nice gifts from the wedding registry, get dressed up, smile, show up, and have a great time. You also better get ready for those gender reveals and baby shower invites too – because it won’t be long before they start coming. Trust me.

I’m not a hater, and I genuinely love seeing other women who want to settle down get to settle down, but man, I’ve had some challenges. In the past, I’ve had to be honest with myself and confront my own feelings of jealousy, resentment, sadness, and anger, along with some frustrations about not getting what I’ve wanted. I understand that being partnered and married isn’t the end-all and will never complete any of us, but it’s important to be honest and upfront about your feelings regarding where you’re at. Don’t get down on yourself, don’t compare yourself to others or wallow in self-pity. Take a good look at your life right now and appreciate and reflect on all you have accomplished and will continue to do. I know you must have a lot of exciting moments and memories behind you and ahead of you too. I can’t wait for you to find out what’s next. And in case no one has told you, I think you are brilliant and brave. You are also appreciated, valued, and loved.

You still deserve a happy ending and happy beginnings too. Don’t ever think that you don’t just because things haven’t happened in the timing you imagined.