Shawn Binder

I need you to yell, I need you to simmer. I want you to cry and to laugh and smile and to sulk in the three-dollar movie theater because I refused to hold your hand.

Only bad people live to see their likeness set in stone
What does that make me?

Every time your drunk uncles (drunkles?) get into a fight about sports/politics/religion.

You are everything that has ever made you cry. You are everything that has ever made you laugh.

Dude, it is 2013, there is pornhub…there is no reason for you to make creepy sex tapes of your ex wife. I will buy you a Brazzers membership. I will personally buy you one if you just stop.

Frat boys are so homoerotic sometimes I can’t stand it. Just spank each other, already. I won’t try to stop you!

You’re welcome, internet.

Finish your drink every time Taissa Farmiga’s character murders a boy with her vagina.

I have always liked P!nk best when she is pissed off and angry at the patriarchy.

He left a trail of mangled bodies after purposefully botching surgeries. There was the man who came in with arm spasms only to wake up with his arms amputated.

With all this connection happening on the internet and all this anonymous hooking up, a question that is begging to be asked is- will we ever be satisfied with a single partner?

Have you ever paused to ask yourself just how fucking boring someone would be to us if we “got” them?