Shawn Binder

It is so easy to slap someone down when they seem to be outside the group looking in. It may seem like they’re harmfully critiquing groups and only wish to harm those they’re observing.

*Any player who says “That’s hot” while watching One Night In Paris must immediately consume three shots and then promptly go sit in a fucking corner.

So basically like strip clubs and Quidditch, that’s what I think an internship consists of.

Do you like Stevie Nicks? Do you like sushi? Yes? You’re practically my soul mate! Here is the link to my Instagram account and a picture of my hard cock.

Can we give Jessica Lange her Emmy already?

Bates smears blood from a harvested pancreas all over her face in some truly fucked-up Elizabeth Bathory shit.

The porn playing on the TV was a grainy one from the early 90s in which the mechanic was not only fixing a man’s ignition, but helping him with his boner.

There is a fine line between being confident in your craft, and being complacent in it. The second you think you have secured a spot for yourself in the field you love, there will always be dozens shortly behind you vying for the crown.

At times, life will hand you a giant, stinking bag of shit and as much as you’d like to hand it back and say, “No thanks, babe- you have it,” you won’t be able to.

Memories always have a way of being perfectly recalled during times when you wish you could bury them so deep they are dissolved by the magma center of Earth.

You’ll wake up one day to find the connections that kept you attached to someone are so deeply severed they can never be completely repaired.

If she doesn’t like my cats it’s kind of a deal breaker.

No, the tears of those who dare to challenge you are also your nourishment. Don’t be vengeful, be better.

Mandy Thurston, you’re the reason we can’t have nice things.

I am in no way ready to start raising a child at this moment in time. I can only begin to fathom the amount of responsibility taking care of another life would be. This morning I ate a stale bag of pretzels I found in the backseat of my car for breakfast.

The world is so fucking confusing and there is no correct path for anyone, so it’s hopeless trying to make sense of your life if the scope of someone else.

After a breakup I don’t feel like showering or working out or eating anything other than ramen smothered in sriracha sauce.

Decent human beings get me hot and heavy.