9 Things Older Sisters Teach Their Brothers

If I had a dollar for every time my sister would dig her nails into my arms until they bled, I would be making it rain on everyone who reads this website.

By Shawn Binder

Updated 8 years ago, January 3, 2017

On my eleventh birthday, my older sister burst into my room holding a handwritten letter. Inside the envelop was a letter from “Hogwarts” that stated I was to begin my training as a young wizard. As soon as I was able to resist the urge to piss myself, I began to throw my sketchers and Yu-Gi-Oh! cards into my navy blue Jan-Sport and bound down the stairs. When I told my parents where I was off to, my sister crept behind me and doubled over in laugher. She had written the note herself, she had wanted to see my excitement only to then watch me be crushed. Besides teaching me from an early age that, at times, the world can be a huge fucking disappointment, my sister taught me a few others things that I could only have gained from an older sister’s warped sense of sibling wisdom.

How To Take A Punch

If I had a dollar for every time my sister would dig her nails into my arms until they bled, I would be making it rain on everyone who reads this website. Older sisters are notorious by nature for putting their little brothers through the wringer. It’s the younger brother’s jab to learn to bear with the pain and wait…until the day we wake up realize we’ve grown taller than our sisters. Suddenly we’re seen less as a punching bag and more as a human. Of course, by that time our tolerance has grown to withstand an ass kicking from a UFC champion.

Their music interests

I distinctly remember listening to Hanson and S-Club Seven while driving to and from school. An older sibling is often the one that exposes their younger sibling to music for the first time. This is crucial for the artistic development of any fully formed human. Although my sister and I listen to completely different things now that we’re older, I can never thank her enough for introducing me to the guiltiest of pleasures in the form of delicious pop music. Thanks, babe!

What Is “Cool”

I quickly learned from my sister that tie-dye was cool and flip flops were not. I learned that Ryan Atwood from The O.C was very cool, and wearing Big Bad Beetleborgs memorabilia was so not. As we grow older, we’re able to pick and choose from the . However, I think it was around the time that my sister told me it was no longer cool to wear shirts with cats on them that I began to disregard her advice. Sometimes sisters teach us that it isn’t worth it at all to look cool.

How To Carefully Select Friends

Older sisters are rarely down with letting their younger brothers hang around their friends. I think mine particularly hated me hanging around because I would constantly crush on the friends she brought around. However, clinging around while they talked about boys, school, and life taught me the type of people I want to surround myself with. The revolving door of high school friendships and drama she endured taught me which friends to quickly cut out of my life.

How First Heartbreaks Look

If you’re a younger brother, it is likely that you’ll see you sibling dabble in all things romantic before you do. In all the relationships I saw my sister in, I was able to quickly pull apart which aspects of a significant other seemed healthy and which ones were purely toxic. It gave me some perspective on what I should be looking for in someone as I got into the dating scene. Older sisters also teach their brothers what it looks like when a someone’s heart is broken for the first time. Seeing my sister sob over pints of Ben & Jerry’s really resonates with me and taught me to never break up with someone over text message and to always treat breakups with dignity and respect.

How To Sail Through Childhood With Minimal Parental Reprimand

Older sisters sort of get jipped when it comes to the parenting game. As a younger brother you’re able to see just which topics set your parents off and which things you’re able to get away with. It’s easier to be seen as, “the golden child,” when your sister has already given you the blue print as to where the parental land mines are located.

The Value Of Bartering

Oh? You want my Hit Me Baby One More Time Hit Clip from McDonalds? Okay, but in exchange you have to give me your Dr. Pepper Lip Smackers and 30 extra minutes on the Nintendo. Deal? Shake on it. Older sisters are known for being shrewd negotiators and will try to bust your balls as much as they can. It is their job to train you for the times where you need to negotiate serious matters like who is going to throw down for pizza on a Friday night and who is going to buy the six pack.

How To Hold Your Liquor (or not)

If your older sister is incredible, she will at some point succumb to your begging and buy you and your buddies alcohol. My sister was the type who would take me to a bar and divert all the drinks boys tried to buy her onto me. I quickly learned I was a light-weight on my 19th birthday when I spent half the day laying in a bath-tub waiting for sweet death to come. Now I can shot gun beers like a pro all thanks to her tutelage.

Death To Gender Roles

Younger brothers often find themselves roped into what their older sisters were taught to do. I can’t speak for every man, but I know for a fact my sister would often coerce me into wearing dresses and learning intense choreography to Shakira and Cher songs. And you know what? It was sort of awesome. It exposed me to things that were far from the atypical male archetype. I was taught that I didn’t have to play by the rules of what boys should do or what girls should do. Growing up with my sister, I learned that dresses aren’t just for girls and that I can be a completely realized man without having the interest to pick up a football…like, ever.