Recapping ‘American Horror Story: Coven’ Week 7

• Frat boys are so homoerotic sometimes I can’t stand it. Just spank each other, already. I won’t stop you!
• Did Tate just say, “amazeballs” ? Ryan Murphy, you’re so hip with the lingo college students are using today!

• Madison’s speech in the beginning of the episode is probably one of the most post-modern things to be said on television in a long while. “I am a millenial. We’re known for our entitlement and narcassicism, they think it’s because we’re the first generation to get a trophy just for showing up. But it seems that our one defining trait is our numbness to the world, our indifferences to suffering.” It warms my heart to see the people who said Emma Robert’s sucked this season are now eating their words, because she has become perhaps one of the most complex characters on the show.
• But, hon, don’t burn yourself with that lighter.
• It’s okay, Taissa, I also enjoy chaining men up in my bedroom. I get it. But I also get that you may be one of the most obnoxious characters on the show. Just when I was growing a soft spot for you, you go to try and kill Tate…only to freak out when he tries to kill himself? Windows ain’t cheap, girl!

• Queenie’s reaction is the same as mine when I look in my refridgerator.
• I ship the friendship between Kathy Bates and Queenie so hard you don’t even know. When Queenie called her, “Miss Daisy,” I lost it.
• GO AWAY, HANK. NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE AND YOU’RE A DICK FOR WAKING UP SARAH PAULSON.

• What even is this romance between Fiona and the Axeman? I’ll tell you, it’s a whole lot of nope.
• It’s okay, Tate, I also don’t like talking about bedtime either.
• Funny how the first word the fratboy is able to say is, “stupid” subtle jab? You tell me.
• What a strange scene between Emma Robert’s, her actual boyfriend, and the girl who always plays his love interest in the show. My bet is that Madison has sex with Tate….
• This new Madison is so sweet and emotive. What is going on?!
• Angela Bassett killed it this episode. Her scenes with Gabourey Sidibe were impeccable. I hope they get more screentime together throughout the season.
• Sarah Paulson’s character has morphed from timid headmistress to blind bad ass and i’m all about it.

• I totally called them doing it. That is why you always knock, Taissa!
• I love her to death, but is it just me or is Jessica Lange always whispering?
• Taissa brought Denis O’Hare’s tongue back into his body just to get a confession out of him, then stab him? Hon, I know your situation is new and that you have a murderous vagina, but this seemed so out of character.
• I love Queenie’s, “I can’t get no satisfaction,” shirt because #same
• Just when I was starting to like you, Kathy Bates, you go and kill a baby for your youth treatments. That is a new level of sick…

• Can someone give me a body count for this season so far? anyone?
• Was genuinely not expecting that threesome to happen, but it makes sense. Ryan Murphy said there was going to be a “Romeo & Juliet” love story this season…now it’s like Romeo & Juliet but after they die they come back to live in order to have threesomes with people who have murderous vaginas.
• Although Kathy Bates’ character has done some truly heinous shit, I still felt so bad for her when Queenie gave her up to Angela Bassett. *fan boy tear*
• Why is everyone on this show obsessed with blood facials? Have you all not heard of exfoliating?

What are your thoughts on this episode? Sound off in the comments below!

I write this weekly piece as I watch the episode. If you would like to join in next episode and potentially see your input here,  live-tweet with me at @ShawnBinder or use the hashtag #AHS4TC so I can read your lovely thoughts!