Shani Jayawardena

So many times I wanted to say fuck you, but the words were swallowed. I’m throwing them back up today. 

Fall in love with the not knowing. Because how fucking boring would this life be if you knew what was going to happen?

I am playing for the girl I used to be. The one who never felt like she belonged.

But our lives, just like our hearts, are made from shadow and of light.

We grow into the kind of women who young girls can look up to and find hope in. 

I love you because you didn’t kiss me on our first date, when every other guy kissed me before there was a date.

You feel safe. You know everything will be okay. Because he’s there.

But it’s never going to be a fit. And that space was always meant to be filled by you.

We may wear scars on our skin, but they cannot penetrate our soul.

Life has become this never-ending grocery list of things we need to check off before we die. 

This was never meant to be your love story.

You shouldn’t take him back when he cheats.