You Weren’t Enough For Him But You’ll Be Someone Else’s Everything

Maybe he said you’re not attractive enough?

Because your face holds one too many spots, maybe your hair fails in every sense to mirror a herbal essences commercial, and maybe you don’t like to dress yourself in the same clothes everyone else does.

But someone else is going to love your eclectic sense of style and your rainbow coloured outfits. Someone else isn’t even going to notice your slightly crooked teeth, because they’ll be too busy drinking in your face anytime your lips curve into a mezmerising smile.

Someday soon, someone else is going to wake up to you first thing in the morning when you feel the least attractive you’ve ever felt, and they’re going to tell you you’re beautiful.

Because you are.

Maybe he said the both of you are just too different?

You like shopping, he likes basketball. He’s into opera, you’re into punk rock. You want to spend more time together, but he wants to be alone. You have to top your pizza with pineapple, and the mere thought of fruit mixed with hot cheese makes him sick.

And now you believe different to be undesirable.

But someone else won’t give a shit about any of that. Because people are different and it’s those differences that make things incredibly exciting. And you can always pull a Joey and order two pizzas.

Maybe he said you’re not smart enough?

Because you don’t read classic literature, you didn’t go to college, and you don’t know what he’s talking about much of the time because you don’t keep up with current affairs.

But someone else will understand why you don’t ever watch the news, because it’s always bad news, and it hurts your heart too damn much. Someone else will realise that four pricey years in school and your name inked on bit of stamped paper aren’t the only definition of smart.

The right person will see your unique talents and gifts, even if you don’t happen to be book smart.

Maybe he said you’re too quiet?

That you don’t speak up, he never knows how you feel, and you don’t offer up your opinion even when you disagree with him. Maybe he said you’re too reserved for him, and he’s looking for someone with a little more sass.

But it’s because he doesn’t know why you’re this way, and he hasn’t bothered to ask.

Someone else will want to dig a little deeper. And they’ll listen to your story and hear all about the tough time other kids gave you throughout school, which caused you to withdraw inside your shell.

That you’re shy and nervous around anyone new, and it takes you a good while to open up but open, in time, you will. You just need to feel safe and un-judged.

Maybe he said you’re not skinny enough?

Because your stomach spills slightly over the top of your jeans, you don’t even vaguely resemble any of the girls you see in the movies or in magazines, and you’ve had a toxic relationship with food since you were twelve years old, learning to consume it as a source of comfort anytime you felt sad or alone.

But someone else will love you for who you are on the inside, regardless of whether you balloon up or shrink down. Because they’ll see you, and I mean really see you.

Those parts that you’ve grown to hate about yourself won’t even grace his radar.

Maybe he said you’re too easy?

Because you fell into bed too quickly, you didn’t prolong the chase, or you bared your whole soul to him within the first few dates.

But you weren’t too easy, you were simply more than what his heart was ready for.

And someone else is going to admire your bravery and respect your truth in its entirety. The right person will be ready for you.

Maybe he said he fell for someone else?

But you read else as better. Because how could you not? Why else would he cruelly trade you in like that? Why would he leave if you were making him happy?

The truth is the problem wasn’t you, it was him. Nothing anyone ever does will be because of you, it’s always because of them.

And it’s okay to let people go sometimes. Because sometimes they’re not right for us, and letting go makes room for someone who is. Someone who will appreciate everything they have right in front of them, and won’t always be wondering if the grass is greener someplace else.

Maybe he didn’t say anything at all?

He just disappeared, and you were left feeling like you’re lacking. Like you did something wrong, you were too forward or held back too much, and you weren’t enough to make him stay. You weren’t even worthy enough of an explanation.

But someone else would be appalled at the way you’ve been treated in your past. And they’ll make a point of doing their very best to heal those old wounds. They’ll check in with you every morning as they wake, and every evening before you drift off to sleep. They’ll give you all of the love they have to give, because they know that’s what you deserve.

So maybe you weren’t enough for one of these guys?

But I promise you, you’ll be somebody else’s everything.

Sometimes, all it takes is one book. One book that turns your world upside down. One book that changes your entire life.

Bloom by Shani Jay available here.