This Is For The Girls Who Believe There Are No Good Guys Left

I fear people aren’t brave anymore. They’re afraid to put themselves out there.

We prefer to hide behind a screen and swipe right instead of talking to a stranger. We send meaningless over-thought-out texts, instead of picking up the phone and speaking spontaneously. We endlessly ‘hang out’ with a bunch of potentials, and are scared to put labels on anything. We convince ourselves that being laidback and casual is cool and more attractive than someone who blurts out that they like you too soon.

But it’s just not. It’s not cool.

Modern dating is tough. Most people can’t think of many positive things to say about it. And I get it. I often feel cheated by the way that we date now too. But I don’t want you to give up on it just yet. Fight your way through the choppy sea of Netflix & Chill assholes, and you’ll find a man, who wants to take you on actual dates. Sounds improbable at this point, I know. But have faith.

There are still guys out there who want to date you.

They will ask for your number, and then call you on the phone. The first time that happens will feel slightly alien, but will quickly begin to feel all kinds of lovely. We should all call each other more often.

They will read your messages, and reply to them straight away. You won’t be left wondering when you’ll next hear from them.

Neither of you will be playing a game.

They will arrange to take you out, they will plan and organise, they will put in effort and you’ll see it.

They will tell you they’ve had a great time, and they’ll mean it. Or they’ll respectfully let you know that something doesn’t feel quite right for them; they won’t cowardly disappear and hope you get their message of stone cold silence.

There are still guys who will open doors for you, and will walk on the side of the pavement nearest the traffic. They will tell you that you’re beautiful, and they’ll make you know that you’re special; and you might not think that you need that right now, but everyone needs that.

On your first date, they may or may not kiss you, but they won’t try and take any more than that just yet. They won’t invite you back to their place. No. They’re far too much of a gentleman. They’re in no rush, because they’re all about the long game. And they’re just that into you.

Yes, I promise you that there are still men like this.

They will tell you they want to invest their time in you, only you, and then they will do so. You won’t be an option to them. We say that dating a few people at once is normal today. But that’s bullshit that we’ve fed ourselves so we don’t feel guilty. They will choose you. And you will know it.

You have to believe it though. You have to believe that guys like this do exist. You have to not settle for residing in a mediocre eternal limbo. You have to be the girl who expects to be treated like she’s magic, because you are magic.

Believe me when I say, there are still guys out there who want to date you.

The world is mostly made up of people who are good; people who want to share their goodness with you.

Please, don’t give up on dating just yet.

Sometimes, all it takes is one book. One book that turns your world upside down. One book that changes your entire life.

Bloom by Shani Jay available here.