9 Ways To Bounce Back To Your Old Self After Being Dumped

1. Realise that they probably stopped thinking about you a long time ago.

This person has metaphorically thrown you away. They have erased you from their life. Do you get that? Repeat this over and over until it finally sinks in, and you’re so riled up and ready to kick some ass.

2. Don’t put any limits on the allowed consumption of chocolate/ice cream/melted cheese for a good period of time.

Your body might need a cheat day or two right now. Let it do what it has to do.

3. And then RUN.

I don’t care if you’re not a runner, and you don’t like running. It is the most liberating, freeing, and exhilarating action, and will push you to your absolute limits. It will clear your head. And when you think you cannot run anymore, just remember: your mind will give up long before your legs do.

Seriously though, you will feel great burning off all that cheese you just ate.

4. Know that there is 0% chance that they are the one.

Okay, there’s a small chance they might realise they were a fool, and want you back, yes. But do not cling to this hope because chances are this will not happen; and if it does – do you really want to take said person, who threw you away, back? They are not the one. Your person is somewhere out there making their way to you. But it’s not this clown. Chill.

5. REPEAT: It is not about me, it is most definitely YOU.

Unless you are aware that you are a psychopath/stalker/loony and are the fundamental reason for the breakdown of this relationship, let’s assume it was down to the other person’s issues. Religious differences perhaps? He thought he was God; you disagreed. Know that not everyone in this world is going to like you, or respect you, or be kind to you, or be worthy of your trust. That’s just life. You have to roll with the punches. And you have to keep bouncing back up in order to meet someone that will be all of those things.

6. Realise that this is very much a #FirstWorldProblem.

You’re not sick. You’re not dying. No one is dying (hopefully). I try and live my life with a little help from my good friend – perspective. You’re having a bad day, maybe even a bad week, but know that a third of the world is starving. STARVING. So even all of your bad days are looking kind of awesome right now, aren’t they (I know they are).

7. Throw yourself into something new and exciting.

That hobby you always wanted to take up, that business you’ve always wanted to get started on, that book you always said you were going to write – DO IT NOW!! You need a weighty distraction, something that will occupy and excite you, and lift your spirits back up again. You are responsible for making yourself feel good – other people can do that for you temporarily, but it will never last unless it comes from within you. Do something you know will make you feel proud and accomplished.

8. Remember that there are about 7 billion other people in the world.

How can you not like those odds? You will meet someone else, it’s just a question of when. And from experience, it tends to happen when you are completely open to the possibility of it, but are also not desperately searching for it. Tough balance, I know.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

9. Tell yourself you will be okay.

Because of course you will be. Nobody can take anything from you unless you allow them to. Stop being melodramatic about this, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and give it your best Tyra Banks strut back out into the world like the CHAMPION you know you are.