Sean Curtis

Quitting smoking is 50% conviction, and you’re bound to fail without it.

Disney movies are chock-full of feel-good moments and quotes. But have you ever noticed that some of the dialogue can get really dark?

Pests will take full advantage of you.

These are the films that legitimately don’t deserve all the unconditional love they get:

On Sunday night, Ted Cruz was the first person to officially announce his candidacy for 2016’s presidential election. Jeb Bush supposedly chuckled, and Hillary Clinton breathed a heavy sigh of relief when she got the news via unprotected email. The announcement was made in a 30 second clip that proves Cruz is terrible at politics but has excellent taste in Hollywood films.

1. Failed attempts are all about “seeking attention”

Jurassic World (June)

If you haven’t heard, the Utah State Senate passed a law this week that will allow execution by firing squad if there’s a shortage of lethal injection supplies.

For a long time I’ve skirted around a major fact in my life: I’m a loser.

Here is a short guide to just a few of the creatures you can find in the concrete jungle and why they’re just as nuts as the people:

1. It’s the best unintentional comedy ever.

For someone who loved to talk and sing about peace, John Lennon sure enjoyed hitting people.

He’s gay, I’m straight. I call him a faggot to his face. Why? Because we’re brothers.

Balding is utterly terrifying. To my fellow young baldies, may you find some comfort in the fact that you are not alone in thinking these things.

2. “I have no regrets” is a lie.