Sari Moon

On Driggs today in Williamsburg Brooklyn, between n9 and n10th, some man was yelling all sorts of obscenities from the 4th floor of the ultra-expensive condo building “The Driggs.” Primarily, he was focused on yelling at people walking on the sidewalk with little…

But the things we leave behind are never as wonderful as those that we eventually find.

Why does this commercial for Lean Pockets® brand sandwiches feature a sexy yoga master? Why are we watching a mesmerizing, voracious, shirtless MMA Fighter eating a delicious pretzel sandwich with his gloves on? Are these two definitely about to get it on?

I married beneath me – all women do.

I love my family with all my heart. That being said, I don’t think I would ever hang out with them if we didn’t come from the same gene pool.

You thought that love was going to make you skinnier and prettier and calmer and nicer and more accepting. You’d feel superior to your friends who were single and almost hate yourself for thinking it.

I’m beginning to see the point of having a relationship. More and more, it seems like their purpose is not to necessarily provide you with love but to keep you far away from hate.

When I said something funny, you touched my hand. Your teeth were so white. Your hair was so shiny. I wanted you so, so badly.

“It’s cool. S/he’s probably just busy right now” turns into you singing Beyonce’s “Irreplacable” and imagining the different ways you could set them on fire without getting caught.

When I say that I want you to be happy, I mean it. We’re used to thinking that no one can just move on from a lost love and genuinely want the other person to find happiness somewhere else in life, but I do.

Have you ever just had a “single” night where you get drunk by yourself and watch movies, play around online, eat junk food, and remain entirely unconcerned with what you look like? They’re the best.

Go to/host theme parties. Once people age out of their 20s, no one’s trying to wear pajamas or Saran Wrap out of the house. The only theme parties that exist after your 20s are ‘Wedding,’ ‘Baby Shower,’ and ‘Funeral.’