Sarah Cae

I met you when I was between heartbreak and healing. Somewhere in the middle, I found you – or maybe you found me.

We cannot be friends because I cannot be the sort of friend you want me to be.

Some nights, I don’t even sleep in my own bed in an attempt to find someone else who will kiss me goodnight. And they kiss me, but it’s never for a good night.

How can you find Forever if you’re always looking for the end?

When I look at you, I don’t see a girl who’s broken and bruised. I see a girl so immensely incredible and strong, with a future so bright – because you’ve fought and lost but you know your life is more than just this one fight.

Try explaining to the guy you actually really like that it’s just one of those days where you crave a bit of space and time to yourself instead of hanging out with him.

For a while, every little thing will remind you of him. The funny slogan on that tee shirt, a water bottle, the smell of coffee, even the sunshine. You can’t say goodbye to someone that lives on in everything he’s ever touched.

It boils down to two choices like in every other relationship; fight or flight? But how can you fight for something that you’ve never believed in?

He initiates. He plans dates and he follows through. He surprises you with flowers and your favorite chocolate on the way home from work. He cleans up if you’ve done the cooking.

This is the girl who understands what love really means. This is the girl who is the light in a world turning dark. This is the girl who isn’t afraid to feel and to live.

You will see it in the way he places you second while he’s your first. You will see it in the way he hears you but he listens to other people. You will see it in the way he’s excited to see you but you’re ecstatic to see him.

I hope you are well, and that you’ve found someone to love, who loves you more. I hope she treats you well. I hope you’ve found that peace you were searching for.

Time and time again, you chose love. But most importantly, you chose me to love.

I would never stop choosing to love you, choosing to fight for an us. Because falling in love and choosing to love are worlds apart.

I know you didn’t love me because when you couldn’t understand me, instead of trying, you only got angry. And angrier when I tried to help and it didn’t help.

Love is not understanding what you’re feeling because there isn’t a word in the English language to describe what you feel.

Maybe it was my fault you didn’t love me. I didn’t fall for you but I did love you. Maybe I wasn’t sure but I know now I did. And maybe I still do.

A dream is the spark to the match, the match that lights your fire that burns your passion. It’s the instigator, it’s the shove over the edge, it’s the light bulb moment, the eureka.