6 Lies You Tell Yourself That Are Easier Than Admitting It’s Not Working Out

1. “Maybe he’s not texting back because he’s a busy, hardworking guy.”

False. The number one reason a person, regardless of their gender, ethnicity, language and sexual preferences, is not texting back is that they are not interested. No, there is no secret reason they are avoiding you. They’re just not making you a priority.

2. “I know he said he’s emotionally unavailable, but I could change that. I just need to be patient.”

Stop. Right now. Whatever he’d go and say after spilling those beans about his emotional availability, just step back. It’s gonna be just sex and confessions about the exes he misses. He will become available, but definitely not to you. The only thing you should not be right now is patient. Date around, you’re available, he’s not, your gain, his loss.

3. “I know I am perfect for him, and deep down he knows too, he’s just afraid to admit it yet.”

Because he is not fully aware of his own thoughts and his perception might just be altered by that pedestrian’s ass. I have literally so many female clients in therapy telling me their men brag all day about how they see the perfect woman for them – and how they fail to notice just how perfect is the girl standing in front of them. So? If you were perfect for him, he’d have noticed you already. And if you’re not, what differences does it make? You can’t force someone to love you. Men are also very clear about their ‘feelings’ when it comes to dating. You could be perfect for someone, but they’ll still choose to fall in love with somebody else. Get a grip and get over him.

4. “It’s not so bad that he won’t go down on me (I’ll try to set an example by blowing him more often).”

The only thing you’ll get out of setting such an example is more of his sperm (and probably a sore jaw). If he’s refusing to cooperate, the only plausible way to get through it is to get over it! Oral sex should be mutual, at least in a healthy relationship. If he has misogynist ideas and sees the world in black and white stereotypes about sex and women vs. men, you only have two choices: flight, or bite.

5. “I have to find out his ascending sign, so I could have a look at his birth chart and see our future together.”

Yeah, because knowing his Myers-Briggs personality type, Enneagram type and the way he fails to notice your naked body around the house, wash the dishes or answer your texts is definitely not enough to make you realize he’s a complete stranger to your feelings. You need more and more scientific proof that things are not working. Try breaking up with him instead. If that’s not working, try Tarot. It will lay out all his flaws.

6. “I don’t see myself married to him but being alone is so scary right now.”

Being alone will ALWAYS be scary. Being on your own, outside your comfort zone, is supposed to be scary. Your hormones are running wild. Your emotions are running dry. Mercury retrograde is casting a deep, dark shadow on all aspects of your life. Drinking sounds like a good idea. And, oh my God, there are so many chores! But then, as the clouds shift and the toxicity in your life is washed away, you get used to the taste and sunny feel of the rainbow. Remember, being single is way less scarier than lying to yourself and breaking your own heart. Have courage, and dump that motherfucker!