15 Pieces Of Advice Every Millennial Woman Needs To Get Through This Month

1. Your ex is not coming back when he starts suggesting other guys for you to date or actually tries to set you up with his friends. Kinda gross by the way.

2. Breakups suck to the point you decide how much more pain and misery you want to swallow and start spitting that shit out.

3. Fuck the pain away is a song by Peaches but also a presumptuous way of forgetting someone. At least so I’ve been told.

4. Have you noticed people fight a lot via text, Whatsapp or Facebook messenger? A lot more than in real life and much more carelessly, injurious and determined, like in a cold war based on destroying each other with each typo. When have mobile networks started ruling over common sense and the faculty of good judgement? ERR. It seems hard to understand how can people put out such big words careless and then take them back at the slightest, most insignificant issue. Since WHEN things like “I love you” and “I want to be with you” get so trashed via text? Or should we just call customer care?

5. To every woman out there who dreams of dating a bearded, polished, tattooed youngster with an uptown minimalist flat and a notebook and who probably brews his own coffee like Desi in GIRLS – are you really in love with a guy or his premium accessories? Are you falling in love with the perfect idea of an urban lumberjack who will go on dreamlike dates with you, meanwhile being perfectly content with doing what every other young boy who lives in a big city does – drinking, smoking weed and fucking? In reality, you don’t even know what you want.

6. Feminist doesn’t mean to be super strong and not going out with misogynist guys. It is in fact going out with a misogynist, loving one and still being able to point out his flaws.

7. NEVER underestimate the power of black leather pants. But only REAL DEAL leather pants, not some vegan leggings that shred after a few weeks. No-no-no! The leather pants are THE sexiest thing that came from the sixties!

8. Start wearing wool porn. Heavy knits are the best. Porn is everywhere. Even this snow is porn.

9. “Kate and Johnny met at the Cafe Tabac in New York City in January of 1994. Kate was asked in an interview for Spin magazine if it was love at first sight. She said, “No, not the first moment I saw him. I knew from the first moment we talked that we were going to be together. I’ve never had that before.” After reading this, I guess people loved more in the 90s. And I can’t think of a better time for everything else to talk about love: music, movies, records, fashion. We need a resolution.

10. Un-friending the friends of the already un-friended will always show poor character, is what one of my best friends used to say. Friends are also good for calling the unfriendly ex-friends tossers!

11. Bruises are so not cool this year. Ballet on ice neither. So go buy some water/snow/ice proof super resistant boots that don’t make you trip and sweep all over the street on ICE. I got a bloody bruise this month and it S-U-C-K-S.

12. A love story is a relationship. A relationship is not necessarily though, a love story. Keep that in mind for your own good.

13. The best and ONLY way to overcome a nightmare is to WAKE UP! Snap out of that fucked up relationship, look up to yourself, be good to those who deserve it and stop wasting your energy on useless, pointless situations and people. Love yourself, please!

14. Love does not last for 3 years, or 10 or 100. Real love, consuming and hungry and wild and tender, lasts beyond the boundaries of a relationship. It breaks hearts, bad habits and it restores lifestyles. That’s when it grows into a better, bigger, more generous love. The only real issue with this deal is the persistence of memories.

15. Maybe people walking in and out of our lives is like thunder crushing ice. It’s good, and fresh and it pulls blood back to the arteries. Like a cold shower under New Moon. If you honestly let go, and they honestly come back, be a keeper.