Maybe We Can’t Forgive Because We Never Forget

They say in order to truly get over someone, you need to forgive and forget. First, forgive whatever that person did. Forgive whatever caused you so much pain. And then forget. Forget that person. Forget whatever happened and just move on.

But what happens when you don’t want to? When you can’t. What happens when everything and everyone reminds them of you? What happens when all you want to do is pick up the phone and call them? Just to hear their voice. Just to know they’re still there.

Even though they caused you so much pain, maybe all you do is make room for that pain. You make room for the bad stuff because you don’t want to let go of all the good stuff. You find a way to deal with the pain and push it aside until you can’t feel it anymore. But it will always be there. Staring you in the face. Reminding you of what they did.

Maybe you’re too scared that if you do forgive them, then you will forget them. Forget the way he looked at you like you were the only one he wanted to be with. Forget the way he traced the lines of your body as you laid together under the moonlight. The way he made you laugh when you felt like crying. How he would lay with you and listen to the silence just because you didn’t feel like talking. You’re too scared that you’ll forget they way he loved you.

Everyone tells you to get over it. Your friends say how big of an asshole he is. Saying he ruined the best thing that ever happened to him. But what they don’t understand is that maybe he was the best thing that ever happened to you.

He told you that. He taught you to love more fiercely and passionately than ever. He showed you that in the end, it’s the little things in life we will always remember.

Maybe that’s why you can’t forget him. It’s not just because he was such a vital part of your life at one point, but because he will always be a part of you. He changed you. He took little pieces of you and replaced them with pieces of himself. Pieces of himself that will forever be the little things in life you remember.

So maybe you can’t forgive a person because you truly will never forget them.