Dear Sister, Stop Abusing Our Parents’ Love

“They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but every apple has its own seeds.” – O.S. Hickman

Just because we’re family doesn’t mean you can mistreat us.

Just because she’s our mother, doesn’t mean you are absolved of the responsibility of being a decent child. If you’re high every time she visits you, you don’t deserve her affection. If you yell at her in front of other people when you’re in a bad mood, you don’t deserve her sympathy.

Still, she gives them to you anyway. Still, she weeps for you 27 years too long.

Just because he’s our father, doesn’t mean you can take advantage of his devotion. If your first instinct is to resent him when he offers guidance, how will you ever learn to take care of yourself? If you seek him out only when you need him yet call him “uncaring” when he’s not around, how will you ever learn mutual respect?

Still, he drives 200 miles to see you. Still, he loves you all the same.

But bad behavior should not be overlooked simply because you act out on someone who loves you.

Being related to someone does not give you a free pass to hurt them. Being hurt in the past by someone you hold dear is not justification to cause agony to everyone else. Pain should not be a legacy, and we as relatives should know better than to force someone to inherit our stressors and traumas.

So just because I’m your sister, doesn’t mean you can give me the cold shoulder on account of you and your boyfriend having fought again.

If you assume I’m okay with you treating our parents like garbage, then you must not know me at all. Yes, I see you rolling your eyes at mother. No, there isn’t ANY justifiable reason for you to cuss at our parents during dinner.

I am fed up with hearing you blame mother, father, your boyfriend, your friends – everyone else but yourself – for every wrong thing that has so far happened to your life. Listen: your period isn’t an excuse to be an asshole, and your birthday does not give you license to be a bitch.

Our love isn’t a shield that protects you from reprisal when you disrespect us.

So let me just say that THIS TIME this family gathering is going to begin and end with smiles. This time you will sit the hell down, swallow your selfishness, own your shit, and – for once – put other people ahead of you.

I will not accept anything less than the same love, courtesy, and appreciation we shower you all the time, that you almost never reciprocate. No manipulations, no crocodile tears, no emotional blackmail. Not today, sister. Not today.

Now pass me the god damn salt.