This Time, I’m Choosing To Be Bold

I’m sick of being nice, picking my battles, and ruffling no feathers.

I’ve always been a minority everywhere I’ve lived. So, I’ve learned my place and strived to be quiet, censoring my real thoughts over and over and over again. Not anymore. I will be bold and pick any battle I want to pick and ruffle feathers that should have been ruffled years ago.

I’m exhausted from listening to your opinions and projections about my life.

This time, I will tell you what I think, do what I want, and call you out on your judgment and projection, reminding you that you have not lived my life or known my pain. I will raise my voice if you raise yours. I’m choosing to be bold.

The ridicule that stares me right in the face when I live an unconventional life — that’s tiring too.

When I live my life in ways that don’t align with your worldview, I will point out how limiting that worldview is. I will boldly continue to live my life in the way I want because there’s peace in my heart, and I’m my most authentic self in this chosen path. And that is all that matters in the end.

I’m tired of reshaping my stories so you can be more comfortable.

I won’t hide my trauma anymore. My stories, my struggles, my shame, and your shame. I won’t sugarcoat my story anymore so your feelings or ego won’t get hurt. I will boldly share my truth, knowing that you’re entitled to your truth too, and that’s okay.

I’m sick of “promising” relationships that go nowhere and men who don’t keep their word.

Holding onto relationships that I know are wrong for me is a learned habit. And I’m determined now to unlearn it. I don’t want to fear the lonely life anymore. I don’t want to settle for men whose actions and words are worlds apart. This time, I’ll boldly walk away when I know it’s time. When I know it’s wrong for me.

This repetitive hustle that everyone says is mandatory is exhausting to me.

We’ve bought into this culture of nonstop activity to get ahead. But is there really no better way? Is life meant to be this hard? I boldly decided that I want an easy life that’s enjoyable, not a painstaking life with no sleep or peace. I boldly learn how to live the easy life from those who don’t subscribe to the hustle mentality.

I don’t want to move my boundaries anymore because you can’t handle it.

I’m a champion boundary mover. I have taught people in my life that my boundaries don’t matter and that they will be moved eventually. But now, I want to hold onto my boundaries boldly, believing that boundaries are good for me and for others.

I’m tired of dimming my light so you can burn brighter.

I’m tired of not boldly stating my thoughts and shining explosively. I’ve just been making space for you and you and you. But not anymore. I will boldly burn like the New Year skies, and no one will be able to curtail my brightness now.

I don’t want to live a small life anymore, with small fears that keep me tiny.

This small life of “reasonable” expectations has led me astray. I want to seize the day boldly and spend my time on things that matter to me, even if there’s no immediate gratification in this status-driven world. I boldly choose me and my dreamy aspirations above all else.

Every step I take will be bold and gutsy from now on. I’m choosing me.