Sometimes I Just Want To Touch You

sometimes I just want to touch you.
feel your hands against mine,
rough and cold,
the way they’d press the base of my thumbs,
the way they’d coax me into massaging back.
to feel your body embrace mine,
your hug so enveloping I felt no fear.
no one could hurt me,
no one could convince me I was ugly or bad or not worthy,
because you believed.
because you were right.
sometimes I just want to hear your voice,
the way you’d say, “Hi, Beaners! I love you.”
sometimes, it’s all the time,
especially late at night when I stumble across videos of us in Thailand or at your wedding,
when you appeared happy,
when I never thought you’d leave.
sometimes, as in all the time, I want you back.
you are my blood,
my soul sister,
unconditionally.