Rob Gunther

I want to take a minute and give a big shout out to my best friend.

My whole life, I’ve always had a dog.

Sometimes I worry that I’m growing out of touch.

Being a tall guy is pretty awesome.

“It’s fine,” everyone’s telling me. “Nobody really knows what they’re doing. You’ll be a great dad. Just relax.”

And I get it, all the time at work, sometimes people have to wait, sometimes people refuse to wait.

We were supposed to go through the management company, even though the address on those envelopes we had to put our rent check in every month was just the building owner’s house up in Westchester, not a real management company.

I’m not going to lie, it’s still a little hard to drink fountain soda. It’s one of my all-time happiest pleasures that’s been forever ruined by that one motion.

I guess I could just look up its significance on the Internet. But that’s so demoralizing.

Kick all of those nasty habits and start some new ones. This is how it works: look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you’ll change completely on New Year’s Day.

I just tried doing it right now, but it’s not nearly as fun as I remember it being when I was much younger.

Before it was just noise. But now … I don’t know.