Rob Gunther

Are you constantly scratching your head wondering how the rest of the adult world makes it look so easy? Maybe you don’t have your shit together. Here are some signs.

Don’t hand in the test. Just pretend to work at your desk for a while, and when everyone starts handing theirs in, you just leave.

Everybody’s always so excited for warm weather. But not me. Why? Because I hate wearing shorts.

Did you see the new Avengers movie this weekend? I saw it. It was cool. Was it a good movie? I can’t be sure.

You’re dating an environmentalist, which is a pretty big catch-all label, sure. But environmentalists care, they really, really care. That’s the whole point.

I know this sounds crazy, because what parent doesn’t think his or her baby is the best? But in my case, it’s true.

I feel like nobody cares about Earth Day.

If you see Frank, tell him I said hi. Tell him, “Hey Frank, I just ran into Rob, and he says hi.” And then give me a call and tell me if he says anything back.

Like a lot of consumers tired of paying a hundred dollar monthly bill, I cancelled my cable subscription several years ago.

There were a lot of headlines in the news a couple of weeks ago when the cops arrested two Brooklyn men who were planning on joining ISIS.

But what about the seasoning? Won’t plain French fries taste a little bland?

You never see them coming. It’s not like you wake up one day and you’re like, jeez, I’m not feeling so hot today, I think there might be a panic attack in the works. It’s not like that at all.

A few months ago, I told myself that I’d stop biting my fingernails. It’s been a bad habit for as far back as I can remember.

I was at this trivia night at a bar by my place a few nights ago, and one of the questions was, “Agoraphobia is the fear of what?” And I knew it, I’d heard this trivia question a thousand times before.

A ver, no es mi intención que yo diera consejos al mundo latinoamericano.

“Please remove me from this group text!” What does that even mean? Remove me from this text? Who? Who’s supposed to do the removing?

Luckily, laser tattoo removal is a thing. Tons of guys get their tattoos removed every year. Ladies, if you ever come across one of these guys, lock them down, because these are the kind of guys you want to be dating. Here’s why.

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking. “Insomnia, yeah, I hear you man. Last night I was up until like three in the morning. I’m a total insomniac!” Sorry, but staying up late isn’t the same thing as insomnia.