Rob Gunther

Donald Trump wants to build a wall along the Mexican border. But what I’m really worried about is the fact that people are listening to him.

I saw this deal on Groupon for a gym by my house. Usually I only run outside, but lately I’ve been feeling like it might do me some good to change up the routine.

It’s one of the most divisive issues in contemporary American culture. And thanks to a series of well-timed undercover videos, coupled with the onset of the 2016 presidential campaign, abortion is once again at the center of our ongoing national debate.

It wasn’t until I was taken out of my own home that my life truly began to unravel. And there were no preparations, at least, none on my end.

It’s panic, it’s fear, it’s people that you know and love looking right at you and yet struggling to make the connection between the person they know and the reality of what’s going on.

There was no more trying to pretend that this wasn’t a serious problem. No matter how much I denied the possibility of what was going on, no matter how much I wanted to wake up as if this were all some sort of a bad dream, I kept shrinking, smaller and smaller.

“This isn’t possible,” my wife stared at me while I reached for a towel.

My wife looked really concerned, which wasn’t helping me calm down any. I wanted some sort of reassurance from her, even if it was just a false sense of comfort.

I walked through the front door and everything was different. “Hi honey,” it sounded like my wife, but it wasn’t my wife. Everything was different, including her.

Can you believe it’s the start of debate season already? It feels like just yesterday that Tim Pawlenty refused to attack Mitt Romney on stage (Obomneycare!), prompting him to lose the Iowa Straw Poll to Michelle Bachman and thus be driven from the race before even a single caucus or primary. Right? Wasn’t that exciting? Right?

Since my son was born five months ago, I like to think that I’ve learned something. Like about how to be a parent, or an adult, or even just a human being. But I don’t know, I’m thinking about it now, I want to be able to deliver all these poignant truths of learned wisdom, I want to sound like I’ve really grown and matured.

Does anyone else get a little uncomfortable when the entire Internet all of the sudden decides to simultaneously agree on a singular issue? Usually I go online expecting to see a steady stream of bickering and debate, like my Aunt Joan arguing about gun control with one of my college roommates in the comments of a status update I wrote about going to see Ant-Man last weekend.

So if I were you, I’d make absolutely sure that you understand the consequences of making such an unwarranted and baseless claim against a man as powerful as Donald Trump. Because let me be clear here: if I see a headline, if I see so much as an Internet blurb with the words “Trump” and “lunch” in the same sentence, I am going to bury you in litigation.

I woke up sitting in a wooden chair with my hands tied behind my back. The first thing I noticed as I regained consciousness was the dull ache throbbing at the base of my skull.

“Sarah!” I called out again, I felt a little panic bubble up from the bottom of my stomach. Maybe she got scared, I thought to myself, maybe she went back to the car. I started running.

Lately I can’t help thinking about the fact that I’m about the same age that Jesus was when he started getting really big. It’s a nice thought, reassuring, like, sure, I haven’t done anything that significant yet, but look at Jesus.

But while Watchman has generated much controversy regarding this unfortunate change in perspective, readers and critics have been all but silent about the book’s most shocking revelation: that Atticus Finch is actually a robot.

What would the country look like with a celebrity President? Would they pull a Reagan and start selling weapons to Iranian radicals to fund rebels in Nicaragua? Or might a new course be charted?