Richard Grayson

When I hesitatingly told Josh the story about Allan that Stacy had told me in bed last night, he said, “So her idea of foreplay is telling you about all your friends who’ve been impotent with her?”

I saw Debbie, who was – as usual – depressed and depressing. Perhaps she was just having her period. That’s always the way I figure I can excuse girls’ black moods. I wish guys had that excuse, too; I’d be having my period a couple of times a week.

Dr. Wouk said all I’ve got now are “pieces of people,” and I’ll have to give up these parts of people if I want a “whole” of one girl. “I assume you mean ‘whole’ with a W,” I said. To Dr. Wouk’s credit, she cracked up.

Lying on my bed, Stacy and I had a really good talk. It was all very nice: she played the guitar, and I felt that she really is a good, gentle person. “Are you seeing anyone seriously?” she asked me. “I’m seeing a lot of people comically,” I said.

I happened to mention something about Vito, and Mike asked me if he was “that faggot.” I said that Vito is effeminate but he’s a really nice person and Mike would like him too if he got to know him.

Marc and I drove into the city to see if we could find any scalpers selling tickets to tonight’s Stones concert. About two thousand other people had the same idea, and there were freaks and kids everywhere, asking, “You got a ticket?”

A lot of delegates are young people, blacks, Chicanos, gays, women, Indians and people who are independent radical thinkers.

We drove over to the Diplomat this morning for a delegates’ breakfast, then I took a drive downtown and was outside the Convention Hall, near the Jackie Gleason Theatre. There was very tight security, and barbed wire, and things were cordoned off.

Just now, McGovern was on TV, claiming an enormous victory – and for the first time I’m almost beginning to believe that we can turn this country around.

I was getting this really bad case of horniness, but when we went upstairs to watch soap operas, I chickened out. We talked all around the subject but I couldn’t find the words to ask her to sleep with me.

With one breath, I blew out the 21 candles on the cake Mom bought. Well, I’ve reached my majority. There were times when I never thought I’d make it.

I started a conversation with their friend Vito, whom I’d never seen around before. For some reason, I blurted out, “My ex-girlfriend is getting married today.” “I’ve heard that line before from guys in bars,” Vito said.

The three of us went home at 5:30 PM, stopping off at Carvel’s. While we were eating ice cream in the car, I looked at Avis and I found myself with an erection. I find the whole situation at once natural and ludicrous.

Dr. Wouk said I should tell Avis I want to sleep with her. I’m afraid she’d laugh embarrassedly, and then we couldn’t be friends anymore.

I had just gotten back to the vestibule and stopped to talk to Elayne, who was giving me her caustic opinion on Shelli and Jerry’s engagement when suddenly a melee erupted inside and I heard Ira yell, “He’s stealing the ballots!!”

After Debbie came over and kissed me, I sat with her for an hour on the grass. She pointed out her boyfriend, who was walking, shirtless, hand in hand with some girl.

Mike thought the blacks came off really hostile toward us, but Leon – who’s older than the rest of us – said it went better than any black-white meeting he’d been to on campus. I guess now I know a little about how the lone black kids in my classes feel.

Last night at the Foursome, I told Debbie that this was the happiest time of my life, and in a way, that’s true – but I wonder if “happiness” is ever the end of anything.