Raul Felix

“I’m from fucking Southern California, why the fuck would I want to illegally immigrate to your shitty, cold country?”

No Haji, foxy lady ever gave us the “I want to fuck you eyes.” Most of them were quite the opposite, covered up head to toe in veils.

We as Americans have been trained to think by the multinational conglomerates who make money off interest and our late payments that it’s an inescapable part of life.

It’s a young mans right to throw dollar bills at women dancing to support their cocaine habit and/or two kids by two different men.

As you sit there, alone in the dark, wallowing in the pile of shit that is your existence, you’ll begin to brood.

Why does he write? Because women who love his writing will write to him and offer their bodies.

I love women. The beautiful, pretty, and cute ones. I don’t give a shit about the rest.

It’s feeling that your uniqueness as a special snowflake is so god damn remarkable, that another special snowflake will take time away from their own little special snowflake existence to read what your special snowflake ass has to say.

The Dependapotamus, as scientists refer to them, are living potato sacks who will congregate at the local malls, dive bars, WalMarts, and under 21 night clubs in hopes of finding a military man that they can sink their whorish claws into.

I’m not particularly scared of heights, but jumping out of an airplane was one of the training events I dreaded the most.

“Like oh my god, I can’t believe our societal double standard.”

You’re a bastard child. Your dad is a worthless piece-of-shit who, as soon as he ejaculated in your moms cunt with that special little seed that would become you, popped smoke.