Rania Naim

It’s time to stop falling and start standing. It’s time to get back up and keep walking. It’s time to heal.

You eliminate the ones who are not on the same page. When you’re honest with yourself about what you’re looking for; whether you’re looking for something casual or serious, you become more aware of the types of relationships you get yourself into. You will not string someone along if they’re looking for something more and you won’t stick around when someone is not ready if you’re the one wanting more.

It’s tired. It’s tired of heartbreak. It’s tired of bruises and scratches, it’s tired of temporary homes, it’s tired of short vacations, it’s tired of ending things and losing people. It’s just tired. It needs a home. It needs life. It needs security.

Please forgive me, one more time for letting you go, for not coming back sooner, for not knowing that I had everything when I had you.

Even when the universe aligned and everything around us was right and perfect and all we needed was just to say yes to the universe and say yes to love. You said no. You backed out. You left.

You see the world in black and white because you can’t be in the middle, you can’t settle for grey, you don’t know how to half-feel, half-love or half-live. You’re either all in or all out. You either give your all or you feel empty all the time.

Virgo. They’ll come back as a ‘friend’ first. They’ll try to slowly make their way back into your life by being supportive and there for you when you need them.

I’ll find your texts to read the emptiness in your words, to remember how unexcited you were about me and about us. I’ll find them so I can read the broken promises over and over again and remember how you never really followed through and how you probably never intended to.

“No effort. If there’s no effort, there’s no relationship. Trust me on this one, men make the effort when they want someone. They don’t get lazy.”

Maybe you scare them because you don’t know how to wait. You take yourself out of the equation when there is more than one. You don’t try to compete for someone’s attention if they’re not giving it to you freely and you don’t try to force someone to see who you are or who you could be.

We say goodbye shortly after we say hello. We say goodbye before we get to know them. We say goodbye before we understand them and we say goodbye without even hearing what they have to say or how they feel.

Asking them to be ‘chill’ or ‘cool’ is like asking a flower to bloom in the middle of winter.

You remember that you were fine before they entered your life, you remember who you were before they approached you, you remember that you’ve moved on before and that you have a life waiting for you outside of them.

Maybe you need to take a few steps back instead of taking a huge leap of faith. Maybe you need to stop chasing people and let them chase you instead. Let them find you. Let them choose you. Let them get your attention first instead of giving them yours right away.

I’m tired of being a victim of my own expectations, of my own intuition, of my own radar. I’m tired of being the one who is always left disappointed or shocked or baffled by someone’s behavior. I’m tired of being the one who’s always hurting.

But I want you to know that I could’ve tried to be everything you ever wanted but that would be a happy ending and you got used to sad ones.

I still look for you in everyone else. My heart still looks for you in everyone else. I still wish it was you every time. I still think it’s going to be you one of those days.

Thank you for being there. Thank you for being present. Thank you for being the ones who stay in a world where everyone leaves.