I’m Slowly Learning How To Live With My Broken Pieces

I’m slowly learning how to accept my broken pieces. I’m slowly learning how to make peace with the parts of me that are still catching up. My childhood dreams that never came true, the family picture that never came to life, all the people who disappointed me, my trust issues, my fears and all the things I tried so hard for but were never meant to be mine.

I’m slowly learning that it may take me a while to figure out what I truly want because of all the things that I longed for only to find out that they didn’t make me happy or they didn’t make me a better person. I’m slowly learning that my heart may not always be very inviting because of all the times it let the wrong people in. I’m slowly learning how to make calculated decisions because of all the things I had to rethink and all the things I had to change.

I’m slowly learning how to be patient with myself as I heal from everything that broke me. I’m learning that healing doesn’t truly end and sometimes I’ll have to heal certain things over and over again. The wounds that bleed again from the slightest scratch, the words that trigger all the pent up emotions and the reminders that bring up unfortunate memories and tragedies. I’m slowly learning how to accept that I haven’t completely healed yet. That it may take me a while to be where I need to be and that it may take a while to find my happy place.

I’m slowly learning how to live with my broken pieces until I can fix them, how to sharpen the edges until I put them back together, how to polish them so they can shine again and how to tame them before they hurt someone else. I’m slowly learning how to stay away from people who step on my broken pieces. People who don’t bring out the best in me. People who unleash the stubborn and defensive parts of me. I’m slowly learning how to stay away from people who I don’t feel calm around. The people who disturb my inner peace.

I’m slowly learning how to live with my broken pieces because I’ll never be completely unbroken and it’s those broken pieces that taught me how to be strong and resilient. It’s those broken pieces that taught me how to be on my own and heal myself and it’s those broken pieces that made me fight for who I want to be. It’s those broken pieces that showed me who is willing to ride with me till the very end and who wants to be dropped off at the nearest exit.