Don’t Give Me Butterflies, Give Me Something Real

Butterflies are easy, butterflies are a result of infatuation, a result of lust, a result of fear and a result of something you’re unsure of, something that makes your head spin and your body tremble, something that you don’t know how to stop.

Butterflies are beautiful but that’s not what I want.

I want honesty. The kind of honesty that puts your mind at ease because you don’t have a bunch of questions to answer or mixed signals to analyze. Honesty replaces your doubts with reassurance, it replaces your sleepless nights with deep sleep. It’s comforting. It’s safe.

Butterflies are fun but I’m over them.

I’m over how they mislead you, how they take you to places that you could get lost in, how they make you believe things that are not even there and how they make you think that what you have is special, that what you have is real.

I’m over confusing butterflies with love because you don’t chase love, you don’t hold love in your hands for a few seconds before it flies away.

Butterflies are pretty but they don’t know how to stay.

Butterflies only want to be set free, they want to fly away from palm to palm, they let the wind sway them left and right, they don’t know how to stay in one place, they don’t belong to one person, they don’t know how to be loyal because they’ll always look for a new home.

Butterflies are lovely but they’re not yours to keep.

And I want a love that’s mine to keep, I want someone who doesn’t want to fly away, someone who doesn’t feel that my heart is a cage because they found freedom in it. I want someone who is not scared of staying, someone who is tired of leaving and tired of running away. I want the kind of love that feels like home. I don’t want to be afraid. I don’t want to keep guessing.

Butterflies are playful but I don’t want games.

I don’t want to feel like every time I try to win, I lose. I don’t want to feel like I’m in a competition and I don’t want to feel like love is a race. I want to find the kind of love that makes me feel like I’m winning no matter how many times I’ve lost. I want the kind of love that takes me seriously, that doesn’t play with my heart because they’re afraid to break it.

Butterflies are easily crushed and I want something solid. 

Rania Naim is a poet and author of the new book All The Words I Should Have Said, available here.