Rachel Hodin

“Explicit” and “Show Me More,” art exhibits that displayed dick pics of unwilling men, in an attempt to answer the question of whether porn can be art.

A priest had killed a beautiful 15-year-old schoolteacher.

4. Among the many Shakespearean curse words that frequent Shakespeare’s plays are “marry,” which translates to “shit” and implies swearing on the Virgin Mary

Like the polluted, magenta-hued New York sunset best visible when driving west on the LIE, the craziest girls are often masked in beauty.

One time when I had a stomach flu I thought I only had to fart.

We were still only 14, but it didn’t matter, because my eyebrows were as thin as Nicole Richie’s collarbone and I had myself a red Motorola flip phone.

It’s all wrong! It’s all just so wrong. The melody, the twerking, the whining voice making vulgar declarations such as “We run things, things don’t run we” and “Can’t you see it we who bout’ that life.”

Ideally you’ll be driving a BMW, Mercedes, or something of that stature, but if you find yourself in an Acura pickle, don’t worry, I got you covered.

More American soldiers die from suicide than from fighting in combat.

I was talking about genres of literature to my 3rd graders and I said something along the lines of, “Fantasy is something made up or that couldn’t happen, like Santa Claus.”

Like most of my dreams ever night of my life, a world teeming with anarchy and trench warfare figured prominently.

And although Bob Saget isn’t an insult comic, I still get insulted when people call him a comic.