These Are The 2016 Presidential Candidates As Ben And Jerry’s Ice Cream Flavors
Donald Trump: New York Super Fudge Chunk. Because obviously, Trump is New York. But have you ever actually seen someone order this?
Upon seeing Ben and Jerry’s sponsored ads about the 2016 election I made the natural comparison of who would the candidates be as B & J Scoops? Here’s your answer.
Bernie Sanders: Spectacular Speculoos
Older generations have a chip on their shoulder about European ideas they don’t recognize, millennials know Speculoos as Cookie Butter and can’t get enough of it.
Hillary Clinton: Phish Food Fro Yo
So seemingly healthy so full of promise until you realize beneath the fudge Phish it’s still yogurt trying to pass as something it’s not.
JEB Bush: Half Baked Ice Cream Bar
Can’t measure up to the popularity of Bush Sr. as Half Baked Ice Cream or even W as Half Baked Fro yo. So JEB is stuck as an Ice Cream Bar, which isn’t even close to a pint.
Donald Trump: New York Super Fudge Chunk
Because obviously, Trump is New York. But have you ever actually seen someone order this? Option B is the Vermonster- too big to finish, banned in some states because it’s a health hazard, sounds about right.
Ben Carson: Greek Yogurt Fro Yo
No one asked for this. No one likes it.
Martin O’Malley: Salted Caramel Core
Delicious, more than competent but overshadowed by the old timers and new odder varieties.
Carly Fiorina: Blondie Ambition
I know that feels a tad sexist, but I guess it fits her own views on Planned Parenthood and progressive feminism. BOOM. But also who ever orders this?