To The Best Friend That Got Away

It’s written in the stars, you know. Us. We’re meant to be. Ever since. And like every other thing in life, I’m ruining it too. Why, I don’t know. It hurts me to see us like this, part ways and not making eye contacts. I want it to be perfect, just like the way it was before. Together forever. I guess the bitch in me is jealous of you, how I care for you more than her. I let her overtake, probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life. I try to fix things and so do you, but.

I’ve never had anybody in my life like you. I love you. These three words don’t begin to cover what I feel for you. They’re so simple and so short and so easy. My feelings are more sophisticated, more complicated and deeper. Love is no word that will ever suffice to fill in the blanks. Adore? Enamour? Affection? Fond? Admire? Put all of them together, and more of them if you want. It will still weigh less than how much I have to give and share with you.

I’m sorry for what I’m making you go through, I know how much it tortures you. I’m sorry for over thinking and I’m sorry for keeping us apart. Being honest first time in all these months, I thought you’d leave me. I thought you’d not love me the same because you found new people and you, so much, wanted to be with them. I was as jealous a bitch as I could be, but also scared and thus, I let go the first chance I got. I’m sorry for all of that.

Tonight, when you drunk dialled me (and I love you so much for that), I realized how terrible a mistake I made. I knew you love me, but this hard? I’m still amazed. You were having a great time and yet you called me up to tell me that you wanted me to be there with you. After “I love you more than pizza” and “I’ll make sure my phone’s battery is no more than 30% so that I can spend more time with you”, this is the best thing you or anybody has ever said to me.

This what if-it’s-meant-to-be-it-will-be feels like. The universe had it planned it all along, for you to be my project partner, for us to be friends, best friends and then soulmates. Yes honey, soulmates. That’s what we are and nothing less. You’re like the hooks on my favourite bra, the grey colour that I’m absolutely obsessed with, the feel and taste of my favourite aerated drink and the 2 am cravings for chicken. You’re the smell of rain on a June afternoon, you’re the pain I feel after playing guitar, you’re my first love when I write, and my first choice over everyone and everything. Always.