15 Ways NOT To Start A Conversation On Online Dating Sites
1. “Hi I’m ____, do I have a chance?”
No.
2. “how r u”
No.
3. “can i have your number”
No.
4. “I’m 99 percent sure I love u”
YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS.
5. “blah blah blah blah blah…. Your cute, can we talk and get to know each other now…”
Nope. YOU’RE.
6. “Hey cutecumber”
Do I look like a fucking green vegetable with a face on it? Get out.
7. “Good luck on here hon..better then meeting a guy at the bar though.”
HON?!? Than. YEAH, THERE ARE ONLY TWO PLACES TO MEET GUYS THESE DAYS.
8. “Can I make you waffles in the morn”
Getting ahead of ourselves here, Aunt Jemima.
9. “Mandingo party??”
I had to look this one up on Urban Dictionary, even as a porn starlet who has seen Mandingo’s penis in real life. I’ve even performed a “cuckold” scene, but that was work, not real life. You can’t mandingo me and we are NOT playing “slave master’s daughter”… there will be none of that.
10. “I’m hoping my persistence pays off.”
I’m pretty sure that’s not how this works.
11. “i want you to know i like your look :)) u r my type”
PLEASE TELL ME MORE. I’M DYING TO KNOW MORE ABOUT HOW I AM UR TYPE. Typing “ur” is so painful for me, even sarcastically.
12. “Save me”
Ummmm what? I think Stabbing Westward said it best… SAVE YOURSELF.
13. “Hey ! Your really cute”
Hey! You’re really bad at this.
14. “So what’s your opinion on mans roll in the universe?? :)”
ROLLING THROUGH THE UNIVERSE SOUNDS LIKE FUN
15. “hello”
Just no effort whatsoever? Expect no effort in return, you lazy fuck. 
