Petra Stone

Growing up in the “pseudo-middle class” meant that at a young age, I was very cognizant of how money would and could limit me and my life as I attempted to get to the place where I am supposed to be.

You start to realize, in the least negative way, that nothing really matters in life – nothing except the people you love; not your phone, your shoes, your new picture frame from Anthropologie, your job title, your Snapchat streak – none of it.

I think everyone goes through different feelings, perceptions and thoughts but most are rooted in doubt and insecurities.

Sure, love is love and your normal may not be my normal but on Valentine’s Day, it seems like all rational thought goes out the window.

Normalizing masturbation for women also eliminates the time we waste in bad situations; rather than having a friends with benefits set up with a horrible ex, you can “maintain yourself” with no emotional or personal liabilities and risks.

Call me a man hating asshole if you want, I don’t care because I know I’m not one. What I do know is I’m a feminist who believes in equality and I would never send unrequested pictures of my genitals around.

What’s the point of contouring if it’s just going to drip down my face? On those days where the humidity is booming and the sun is shining, I look like a parody YouTube makeup tutorial.

Even the most zen people have the most irrational, impulsive thoughts during first dates.

We’re all seeking an immediate rush of fraudulent elation and when we fail to produce those feelings naturally, we resort to shit like MDMA to kickstart it all.

Fake an allergic reaction.

It won’t keep asking you “is this okay?”

I’ll have to live with that weak part of me, remembering that I also get to live with the really strong part of me that picked myself up and figured things out.

Never EVER tell your coworkers you’ve got free time.

WTF, how did I filter myself into an orange? Why is it grainy? Shit, there’s a dirty sock of mine laying on the floor in the back of my selfie, think anyone will notice?

Did I have a crush? What? How?! Why didn’t anyone tell me? I hadn’t even thought of him in that way, was he even attractive?

Aside from the fact that she was chic as hell, lived in New York and had brunch on the regular, she cleared up a lot of the love and relationship bullshit we go through.

Having to listen to people recommend a new product.

Fast forward to the big night, passed my four anxiety attacks, five outfit changes (cause WTF, how do you appeal to a chick and a dude) and two “sorry I’m running late” texts.