Even Through This I Will Love You

For even when you are at your worst, even through this I will love you.

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You say everyone leaves, you say no one can tolerate you, that you are a mess that even I will one day see it. One day realise it, one day just recognise you are difficult and overbearing and leave but my darling you needn’t fear because that’s just your past experience talking, nostalgia lying. For even when you are at your worst, even through this I will love you.

Through the storms that cloud your gorgeous, confusing mind, and the moments when you think you are most unloveable, when your mental illness makes you think that you are completely worthless, I will hold your hand and try to make you believe, and even when you don’t believe me, even when you regress into a shell and refuse to listen to me, I will be patient because even through this I will love you.

Through the moments when your anger unleashes, your flaws become apparent, you make the mistakes we all make but are harder on yourself than anyone else, the moments when you are sure I will leave because you have revealed your darkest side to me, the moment you are so vulnerable that others have chosen to leave, even through this I will love you.

Through the seconds when your heart is completely broken, when your world has fallen apart, when the whole sky has opened and all you can do as everything you have build destroys itself and you are sure, you are so sure I will leave because how can I stay when you are here at your worst, I will stay and make you understand and believe, even through this I will love you.

I did not take your hand just to leave you in your worst times. So bring me your storms, bring me your riptides, bring me that thunderous thing you hide in your soul. And watch, just watch, how even through this, I will love you. Thought Catalog Logo Mark


About the author

Nikita Gill

Nikita is the author of Your Soul Is A River and Your Heart Is The Sea.