For Girls Who Are In Love With Boys That Are Haunted By Another

Let me remind you of something before you begin to read this. You have fire within you. Even if you do not feel like you do, you have the kind of fire that can set cities on fire and anyone who is telling you you do not have the capacity to set the world aflame is lying to you, or is intimidated by your true potential.

This is why, my darling, you must never ever fall in love with a man who is still in love with another.

I know sometimes you learn of it too late, believe me, I have been there, when you are giving him all your secrets, your great big heart open, letting him into places where no one else has been and yet he remains closed, barricaded, his walls so high that climbing them seems absolutely impossible. And I know you will try. Because girls like you, you love a challenge and when you fall you fall hard and fast, you fall with the intensity of sleet and hail in the worst of storms.

But soon, maybe a little too late for your heart, but soon you will learn the reason for those high walls are a woman he has just never been able to forget. You can ask him about her, you will want to learn of this ghost that haunts him, this ghost that he seems unable to forget when he has you who is standing right there, with all of your love in your arms, just waiting to give it all to him. If only he accepts it with willing arms.

And he won’t tell you. He won’t tell you a thing about this ghost. He will say it’s because she is in the past, but you just want to learn what she gave him that has closed him to a point that he will not take your love which you are giving him, all of it. Eventually the jealousy will start seeping into you. You’ll find yourself dying inside at the thought of him being openhearted and full to someone else, someone before you. A stranger who you know nothing about other than the fact that he loved her more than he will ever love you.

No matter how much love you give to him. She was there first and she open and closed him forever.

Do not allow him to treat you this way. If he has high walls, it is not your job to scale them. If he is haunted by her ghost it is not your job to be haunted too, until he gives himself to you. My darling, you deserve someone who looks at you and sees everything. Who looks at all that love in your big, kind, generous heart and says, “How precious you are. How beautiful you are for loving me this way. And I cannot wait to love you in return, just the way you deserve.”

You are not a sunflower, following his sun and then waiting every single morning for him to rise again. You are fire itself. And you deserve someone who has as much fire to give you, the kind of fire that will set alight worlds.

Someone who will look at the flames and turn and take your hand, and walk through them with you, not someone who turns away the minute he sees a city burning and runs back to the haunted city he came from.

Wait for that person. He’s on his way. And he’s willing to set the world on fire to find you, so you can dance together in the flames.

Nikita Gill is a poet and the author of the book Your Soul Is A River.

Your Soul Is A River is available as a physical and electronic book. You can buy it here.