For Girls Who Are Constantly Told They Are Too Much

Some girls are just forces of nature. The best way to describe us is ‘too much’. The more unkind way people describe us is ‘over bearing’, ‘annoying’, ‘too intense’, ‘too much of a handful’ ‘hard work’’. The problem with being defined this way is that you begin to see yourself as a burden. You begin to see yourself as someone other people constantly need space from. You begin to see yourself as the kind of person that needs to always be the more understanding one in any relationship, because look at how much the person you are with is having to put up with.

To the girls who have been told they are too much, and feel they are thus a burden on the people they love, I am sorry. You did not deserve to feel that in any way, shape or form. Because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ‘too much.’ Being too passionate, too loving, too kind, too caring, too considerate, too intense…these are all beautiful qualities. And they deserve to be celebrated by the people you love. Anyone who is trying to make you lock them away in a box is wrong, so very wrong and does not deserve to be a part of your life anymore.

But here’s the sad truth, my darling. Some days you are going to feel unbeautiful and alone. Some days you’re going to feel all alone in the world in the way you admire the night sky and how intensely beautiful a sunset is and how stunningly gorgeous the entire alchemy that has conspired to make this precise moment in history for you. And you will weep, or laugh, or feel overwhelmed by its beauty and you will feel all alone in it because the one you love and need most isn’t like you. They don’t see the overwhelming beauty in the moment, and they will not understand why it is affecting you so.

Those are the days that are loneliest for girls that feel too much. Those are the days where you feel small, or stupid for feeling the amount that you do.

Don’t let them take that away from you.

You are needed. Girls like you are the kind that people write stories about, girls like you are the kind that take lifetimes to find, girls like you are the kind of loves that people never ever forget. Girls like you are the kind that change history.

So for everything that breathes inside you, all that makes you this holy thing that you are, please please do not allow the world to change you.

Because the world, though it may pretend it doesn’t need girls like you, it needs girls like you who are too much to show others whose souls have long since lost their spark what it means to light a fire that can take on entire stars and volcanoes and not be dulled by anyone or anything.

You need to exist in this world seeing it as beautiful as it should be. To show all the others around you what it can be.

Nikita Gill is a poet and the author of the book
Your Soul Is A River.

Your Soul Is A River is available as a physical and electronic book. You can buy it here.