10 Lessons On Love & Survival For My Future Daughter

Listen child, the world is not an easy place to live in. Hard work is not always rewarded. Sometimes you will meet a person who you will love deeply and then lose them for a plethora of reasons. Sometimes you find yourself at the losing end of a cruel fight when it wasn’t even your fault that it started. What I am trying to say is, one day you are going to get hurt and I will not be there to protect you. The best gift any mother can give her daughter is the armour of wisdom and lightness to guide them through their journey. And here, I give my best words, my best weapons to you.

1. Not every love you receive is the kind of love that is good for you. You need to recognise that some people may love you but are toxic in the way they try to hold onto you, hide you from the world, do not allow you to be yourself and take from you the very thing that matters most. Your freedom. Do not allow someone to take your freedom from you. Under any circumstances.

2. Stop trying so hard, all day every day for the people who do not care. Save all that effort for the ones who appreciate you with every fibre inside their beings. Those people exist. And they are much harder to find than those that take you for granted, but believe me, they are worth the journey.

3. Sometimes the people you love most in the world are going to hurt you and this can make you feel like the world is closing in, that everything is falling apart and you cannot stop it. Do not let yourself be swept in that tidal wave of pain. Let the pain make you stronger, do not allow it to break you down.

4. Every single person you meet has secrets and sadness that you know nothing about. They may seem happy, but remember how good people can be at hiding their pain. Always remember that before you open your mouth to be cruel or unkind in any way.

5. Be an explorer. And I don’t mean in the sense of travel. I mean in experiences. In feelings. In truths. Always find yourself on a journey to becoming better and stronger. And that is the best way you will ever find yourself if you ever lose your way in the labyrinth you have created in your own head.

6. Be kind to the people who you know really love you. It is easy to know when someone really loves you. They let you know in little ways that can sometimes be easy to take for granted. Call them. Let them know you are thinking of them. Do something kind for them. It doesn’t take a lot to be kind. Just try to do your best to be tender with the people you love.

7. If they try to change you into something they need, then they have never been worth your time in the first place. Stop trying to change all the things that make you uniquely you for someone who wants you but only when you are the version of you that they like best, that they can mould.

8. Never force someone to love you. Do not threaten, do not cajole, do not manipulate anyone into staying if they have decided to leave you. That person will never respect you if they stay and you will both end up unhappy with the kind of love that you have received.

9. Every tragedy that ever comes your way is going to make the happiest moments of your life worth every second and you will appreciate it so much more. Tragedies show you how dark life can be, but true happiness makes all that pain worth it so much more.

10. When you feel like giving up, close your eyes and picture all the people who love you and want you to succeed. Now, I want you to think of all the people who have put you down, told you that you will never amount to anything, all the people you need to prove wrong. Now get back up, and fight.